Some Things Never Change
by HlcDec
Summary: Kurt and Blaine have been apart for four years. Kurt never really knew why Blaine left so suddenly, but he has rebuilt his life. Now Blaine is back and Kurt just can't cut him out of his life completely.
1. Chapter 1

"What the hell are you doing here?" Kurt froze mid – action, still holding red fabric swatches against a semi finished black coat.

"Hello to you to Kurt, some things never change I see." Blaine smiled and removed his backpack from his shoulder, resting it instead against one of the glass counters dotted around the boutique.

"Don't be cute Blaine, just tell me what you're doing here and leave. I have work to do." Kurt regained control with a trademark snarky comment and returned his attention to the garment in front of him. He refused to let Blaine know how much his reappearance had affected him.

"The truth? I have spent the last three days since I arrived back in New York trying to track you down. The last I heard you were still singing at Bernie's, when I couldn't find you I thought maybe what happened between us had pushed you right out of New York." Suddenly feeling self conscious under Kurt's scrutinizing gaze Blaine shoved his hands in his cargo pant pockets and wished he had shaved.

"Don't flatter yourself Blaine, I am quite capable of moving on. I don't fall to pieces just because some guy leaves me for bigger and better things." Kurt put the swatches down carefully and turned to face Blaine, grateful that his voice sounded miraculously calmer than he felt. Blaine flinched at being referred to as 'some guy', but figured he deserved it.

"No, you're right, I should have known Kurt Hummel never breaks. Especially when there is a guy there to fix him. I hear you're dating Brett Lawson now." He raised his eyes to meet Kurt's, searching them for any sign of emotion, but Kurt had clearly built those old walls around himself again.

"It has absolutely nothing to do with you who I date Blaine. You lost that privilege when you left." Before Blaine could reply the door opened and two young women entered the boutique. Kurt's demeanour changed instantly. He painted a broad smile on his face and stepped forward to greet the customers.

"Good morning, welcome to House of Hummel. How can I help you today?" Kurt extended his arms in a friendly fashion, as the blonde customer explained what she required. Kurt noted irritably that Blaine hadn't moved, he was leaning casually against the counter, his arms folded as he watched Kurt.

"Okay, so we can make an appointment for you to come in and discuss in detail what you like, then I will draw up some sketches and you can choose fabrics and details before your garment is made. When can you come in?" Kurt flipped through the appointment book briskly and wished that Blaine would do something other than stare at him. He noted down and appointment in a weeks time and showed the women courteously out of the shop. He took a deep breath before turning back to Blaine.

"You must be very good, I ought to have known that though, whatever you set your mind to you always accomplish with flair." Blaine's expression was soft, his voice quiet. Kurt balanced his hands on his hips, determined not to let his walls down, why did Blaine find it so easy to disarm Kurt, even now?

"Don't Blaine, what do you expect to happen, you just walk in here and I jump into your arms – everything Okay again after four years of nothing? What do you want from me Blaine? Tell me." Kurt's eyes bored into Blaine, finally betraying some of the hurt he was feeling.

"I don't know Kurt, to be your friend maybe? I don't know, I just needed to see you, make sure you're alright." He took a step towards Kurt but stopped when Kurt flinched.

"I'm fine Blaine. Look around, I have a successful business, I have a boyfriend who cares for me, I have a life. I don't know if there is room for you any more, I can't trust you any more." Kurt didn't meet Blaine's gaze, he knew it would break his heart to see the hurt in those eyes that could still give Kurt butterflies.

"I understand Kurt, but please don't shut me out completely, just meet me for coffee please?"

"I don't know Blaine..." Kurt met Blaine's pleading eyes apprehensively.

"Please, just an hour, maybe we can be friends or you know just acquaintances. I miss you Kurt."

"You left Blaine, not me. I missed you for so long hoping you would walk through that door and you never did. I'll think about coffee, but don't hold your breath. Write your number on here, I'll contact you." Kurt pushed a memo pad across the counter and watched Blaine scrawl a cell phone number down in his familiar handwriting.

"Thank you." Blaine set the pen down.

"I haven't said yes yet Blaine." Kurt folded his arms over his chest defensively.

"I know, just thanks for not throwing me out or anything." He picked up his backpack, heaving it onto his string shoulders. With a small smile and a wave he turned and left Kurt's boutique. Kurt stared at the door for a few minutes, he had no idea how to feel or what to do. So he busied himself with the half finished jacket, pushing all thoughts of Blaine to the back of his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

Kurt sighed in frustration and balled up yet another piece of paper, launching it across his spacious living room. He ran a hand through his chestnut hair, instantly regretting it and trying to return it to it's previously perfectly coiffed state. He was sat bent over a large sketch book, trying in vein to design a suit for an important client, five designs and five crumpled pieces of paper later and he had made no headway.

Kurt glanced at the clock, groaning when he realised he had been sat at the table for more than two hours without any productive results. He stood up and stretched his long limbs walking over to the kitchen, he reached for the ground coffee, beginning to set up his beloved coffee machine to make himself a well deserved mocha. He had never had this much trouble with a design before. He usually just visualised the client and ran through what they wanted and the design almost sketched itself. Since Blaine reappeared however, Kurt hadn't been able to design a single thing.

He ran through the motions, making his coffee, his mind preoccupied with thoughts of texting Blaine. It had been two days since Kurt's world had been thoroughly shaken up, and for two whole days Kurt's mind had been on Blaine, trying to decide whether to meet him or not. It had taken him so long to get over Blaine, he thought he had succeeded until those eyes were staring straight back into his, making his carefully built walls tumble down, despite Kurt's protests. Kurt wrapped his fingers around the warm mug and leant against the spotless white counter contemplatively.

He barely registered the front door opening. For the first time Kurt regretted giving Brett a key. He pulled himself out of his reverie and plastered a well practised smile on his face as his boyfriend appeared in the doorway. Brett looked around the living room and at the way Kurt was clutching his coffee.

"Hey Babe, is this a bad time? You seem to have declared war on your sketchbook." Kurt flinched at the pet name, but walked over and kissed Brett on the cheek regardless. He wasn't sure if he would ever get used to anyone other than Blaine calling him Babe.

"No, just can't seem to wrap my head around this latest design, I'm just taking a break, want a coffee?"

"Please Kurt, you know I don't touch that stuff." Brett opened the refrigerator and extracted a bottle of orange juice before turning back to look at Kurt with his deep brown eyes.

"Sorry, my heads somewhere else today." Kurt returned to the living room and slumped onto the sofa.

"Your head's been elsewhere for the last two days. You wanna talk about it?" Brett joined Kurt on the sofa and began rubbing his shoulders soothingly, using his thumbs to caress Kurt's neck.

"Hmm, that feels good." Kurt sighed and leaned into Brett's warm touch. "It's nothing really, someone I didn't expect to see again turned up at the shop the other day wanting to get to know me again. I just, I really don't know how to react, whether to go for coffee or just leave it." Brett's fingers had stilled and Kurt turned to face him.

"It's Blaine isn't it?" Kurt's blue eyes widened.

"Yeah, um, how did you - ?"

"Come on Kurt, there is only one person in the world that could throw you this off kilter simply by asking you to coffee. Now, I don't know everything that went off with you two, but I know enough to see how big this is for you." He paused for a minute, taking in Kurt's surprised gaze. "You really loved him didn't you?" His voice was soft, he took Kurt's hand gently.

"Yeah, I really did. I don't know why it still hurts to see him, I'm over him, I have you and a whole life now. This shouldn't be so difficult." There was a pleading in Kurt's expression that hurt Brett to see.

"Maybe you're not as over him as you think." Kurt's hands were instantly on Brett's, his thumbs rubbing comforting arches onto the tan skin.

"No, don't. This has nothing to do with me not being over Blaine, I am over him. It was just a shock. I'm not meeting him, it'll just cause stuff between us and I don't want that."

"Kurt if you have to avoid him to keep things okay between us then clearly you aren't over Blaine." Kurt opened his mouth to argue but was silenced by Brett's finger on his lips.

"I think you should go for coffee. Talk, if nothing else you can clear the air between the two of you. I trust you Kurt, but if you don't meet him I'll always wonder why." He sighed wondering how things got so serious so quickly. Kurt nodded silently and leaned towards Brett, his eyes searching for permission to hold him. Brett pulled Kurt close, holding him tight. He couldn't help but be a little nervous of Blaine's reappearance, there was clearly a lot more to the relationship than Brett knew. He leaned back into the soft leather sofa, still holding Kurt, his mind filled with unwanted thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

Blaine looked around at the hotel room. The plain Beige walls and white-washed furniture did little to inspire him so he turned his laptop off packing it carefully back into it's case before making his way over to the double bed. He collapsed on the soft sky blue linens sighing deeply. His back ached slightly from being sat in the same position for the last few hours. It was so nice to be on an actual bed again.

The trouble with travelling for journalism was that you didn't often get to sleep in a decent bed. Blaine buried his head between the pillows letting the cool fabric soothe his weary eyes. A buzz sounded from his jacket pocket.

With a groan Blaine heaved himself off the bed and made his way over to where he had dumped his few possessions on the blue speckled carpet. He retrieved the phone from a front zipped pocket unlocking it as he made his way back to the bed. He rested against the headboard and shoved his glasses further up his nose. His heart skipped a beat when he saw the message was from Kurt.

_Meet me at Lori's coffee shop, two doors down from my boutique. 2pm tomorrow. Kurt._

Blaine smiled and tapped out an OK before sliding down the bed and drifting into a fitful dream filled sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt tugged his purple scarf tighter around his neck as he walked down the street towards his boutique. A polystyrene coffee cup clutched in one hand was providing much needed warmth, Kurt found his keys and unlocked the door with a small kick to the bottom right corner. Kurt loved the age of the building and normally adored taking in the 1920's detailing around the windows and door, today however his mind was in the coffee shop he would be sitting in in two hours time, with Blaine. Blaine.

Kurt went into the office and removed his coat, placing his messenger bag carefully on a hook next to the door. He figured he could attempt to distract himself with work before he had to meet Blaine. A jingle at the door informed him that his apprentice, Caryn, had arrived. He settled himself in the large leather swivel chair and pulled out his sketch pad and fabric swatches and set to work.

Before he knew it, it was 1:45. Kurt laid his pencil down, happy with the progress he had made. He grabbed his coat and bag and made his way out to the shop.

"Caryn I'm stepping out for a bit, will you be okay on your own for a bit? I have my cell if you need anything." Kurt ran a critical eye over the delicate girls appearance, she wore black skinny jeans and a blood red polo neck jumper, accessorized with a black belt and knee high patent boots.

"Yeah Kurt, this isn't my first time here alone you know." She raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow at him in exasperation watching him button up his coat

"Okay, well I shouldn't be long. See you." Kurt checked his reflection in the gilt mirror and stepped outside. It was a short walk to the coffee shop. He couldn't help but feel he should be more nervous as he pushed open the heavy glass door. He scanned the shop, no full head of curls here yet. Kurt smiled at the barrister he knew so well.

"Hey Kurt, usual?" She had already filled out the cup with his name.

"Hi Anna, yes please" He handed over his loyalty card and moved to the side to wait for his cinnamon mocha. He tapped his fingers absent mindedly to the latest Keane song. When his coffee was ready he made his way over to a small table by the window, it was a quiet corner of the shop, where conversation was less likely to be over heard. The glass door swung open, letting in a gust of cold air. Blaine searched the shop with those hazel eyes until he found Kurt, he raised a hand in greeting, which Kurt returned, and went to order his coffee. Kurt gripped his warm cup, watching Blaine interact with Anna like he had known her for years. Blaine had always been able to talk to anybody – Kurt envied that quality from the first day they had met. Blaine collected his beverage and moved over to Kurt's table. He took the seat opposite Kurt and grinned toothily.

"Hi."

"Hi, you're late." Kurt raised his watch to illustrate his point.

"I know I left late, still adjusting to being back in this country, you know how it is." Blaine took a sip of his coffee, not taking his eyes from Kurt once.

"No actually, I don't." Blaine raised his stupidly triangular eyebrows, but said nothing.

"I was a little surprised you agreed to meet me, I'm not complaining though. It's good to see you Kurt." The honesty in Blaine's voice was palpable.

"I wasn't going to originally, Brett thought it would be a good idea." Kurt wasn't sure what he expected when he mentioned Brett's name, certainly not a completely non-nonplussed Blaine sitting there like they had been meeting for coffee every week for their entire lives.

"Well I guess I have him to thank then." Kurt didn't really want to jump straight into the serious conversation he was sure would come.

"So where have you been that's left you so jet – lagged?"

"Well I started in October in Bosnia, but then I had the last two weeks of November in Kuwait. It's not pleasant over there at the moment. It's really nice to be back here."

"Wow, you get around a bit don't you? What's brought you to New York, some new fascinating story?" Kurt took a sip of his mocha looking directly at Blaine. He noted the dark circles under his beautiful eyes and the few laughter lines that had appeared since he last saw him.

"No actually I'm moving back here, for good. I just need to find an apartment and buy stuff – I've been living out of my backpack for the last three years."

"That explains the hair." Kurt watched Blaine raise a hand to his curls, tugging at one just above his eyes.

"Does it look that bad?"

"I never said it looked bad, the lack of an entire truck load of gel is actually a good thing." Blaine smiled over at Kurt, lowering his hand to cup his drink again.

"It's nice to see you Kurt." Blaine said earnestly. Kurt continued to look at him, assessing what to do next.

"What do you expect to come of this Blaine?" He crossed his legs and watched as Blaine dipped his head, caressing the lip of the cup with his thumb.

"I don't expect anything Kurt, I know how I left was wrong, I never expected you to speak to me again. But I've missed you."

"Not enough to come back." The words slipped out before Kurt could stop them. The raw emotion in his voice made Blaine look up. Tears were shining brightly in Kurt's eyes, but he refused to let them fall.

"Kurt it wasn't like that, I wanted to come back the minute I left. You know the pressure I was under. It never changed how much I lov - "

"Don't." Kurt interrupted quickly "Don't tell me that. And don't give me that bullshit about what pressure you were under. I understood, I was there for you. I stood up to your ass-hole father and you just made me look like an idiot and left to work for him anyway. You have no idea what you put me through Blaine. You said you would never leave. You lied to me, of all people you lied." Kurt's face was set in a hard expression, the tears still resolutely shining but not falling.

"I do have an idea, I was going through it too. You know I've always found it difficult to say no to my Dad, I tried I really did, I just wanted him to be proud of me, to look at me with something other than disgust." His voice was quiet but powerful.

"You said you wanted me to be proud of you too. And I was, right up until you broke your promise and with it broke my heart and everything we fought so damn hard for." Kurt's voice broke and a single tear worked a track down his pale cheek. Before he could stop himself, Blaine had reached across the table to wipe the tear away. Kurt caught his wrist, moving slowly. Blaine's skin was hot under his fingers, Kurt's heart beat wildly against his Adam's apple. He lowered Blaine's hand to the table carefully.

"I hate to see you cry." The statement was simple. But the honesty in it was clear. Blaine withdrew his hand from Kurt's grasp.

"Okay, so what now?"

"That depends, what are you comfortable with? I don't want to ask for your friendship if you aren't ready to give it." Blaine was empathetic as always.

"I don't know Blaine, honestly I don't know if I can handle us, even us as friends, can we – I mean, would it be OK if we just met for coffee again, got know each-other again? I know there is more to this than you're telling me, don't even try to deny it Blaine, I can read you better than anyone. But I don't want to force this. We have a lot of shit to work through here."

"Of course, anything Kurt, I'm grateful for anything. You know you curse more now." A weak smile graced Blaine's beautiful features. A smile that Kurt couldn't help returning.

"Shit happens." They sat in contemplative silence for a while. Blaine used the time to take in Kurt's appearance properly. He seemed taller, and older – on the inside. Blaine was pretty sure that Kurt would be fifty and still have the skin of a twenty year old... he didn't seem to have gained any tell tale signs of the years they had spent apart. He seemed quieter too, more reserved. Kurt's fashion sense however hadn't changed. The jacket he was wearing today was deep black with purple trimmed pockets and buckles crossing from one side right around the back and attached to the opposite pocket. This teamed with charcoal grey skinny jeans and black knee high boots just screamed Kurt. Of course each piece of clothing fit Kurt perfectly, nipping in at the waist and hugging him in all the right places. Blaine noticed a simple silver chain around Kurt's neck that had definitely not been there before, he let his eyes linger on Kurt's neck just a fraction too long.

"It's a charm from Rachel and Mercedes, they bought it me for my 25th birthday." Kurt fingered the delicate chain, raising it so Blaine could clearly see the little star dangling from it.

"It's lovely, more Rachel than you, but it's nice."

"Hmm, it's not really me, but the sentiment behind it means a lot to me, at the time I didn't have a lot else in my life. The boutique was still in the planning stages, I hadn't met Brett yet and you were gone. I love it."

"Kurt, I'm really sorry. I've never regretted anything so much. I hated leaving you."

"Why didn't you call? The leaving I could handle to a point, but it was just like you dropped off the face of the planet. I felt like I was mourning a death, not just the man I loved leaving , and I really did love you Blaine." There was no anger in Kurt's Glasz eyes now, just curiosity. It was this more than anything that gave Blaine the courage to speak.

"I wouldn't have stayed away. If I so much as heard your voice or saw your handwriting I would have come back, and I knew you probably hated me and I just couldn't bare to see that in your eyes." Blaine spread his hands simply as if that's all there was to it.

"I never hated you Blaine." Kurt's voice was so quiet.

"You didn't?" Hope shone in Blaine's honey eyes.

"How could I hate you? I loved you so much Blaine, that doesn't just disappear." Kurt smiled over at Blaine for a second.

"I'm sorry Blaine I have to get back to the boutique, I left my apprentice alone and I've been nearly two hours."

"I'm proud of you Kurt, you've done so much. I'm just in awe of you." Blaine watched Kurt stand and throw his bag over his shoulder. He turned to look Blaine directly in the eyes, a determined expression on his face.

"I'll text you about meeting up again soon, just don't disappear on me OK?" He reached out and grasped Blaine's hand briefly before smiling and walking out of the coffee shop. Blaine watched him walk past the window, not quite sure what he should be feeling right now. All he knew was that Kurt didn't hate him and right now he was ecstatic with just that.


	5. Chapter 5

Brett opened the car door to let Kurt out, offering a hand to his boyfriend. He pulled Kurt into him, planting a firm kiss on his soft lips.

"You look incredible tonight." Brett laced their fingers together and headed for the queue into their favourite bar.

"Don't I always?" Kurt raised an eyebrow but smiled warmly.

"Of course, but this outfit is spectacular - plus you know what that shirt does to me." He bumped his shoulder into Kurt's gently. They stood in companionable silence as the line shuffled forwards. Once inside Kurt led them to a booth a few feet from the stage. Brett would have preferred to be further back, but he knew Kurt loved open - mic night so he sat down without protest. He linked fingers with Kurt while Kurt gave their drinks order to the waitress.

They listened to the sound check, chatting idly until a tall, willowy blonde appeared on stage. Kurt shushed Brett and tuned in eagerly. He sat forward appraising the girl's appearance. She began to sing the opening notes to Hallelujah. He noted her voice was technically excellent, but her performance lacked passion, or indeed any emotion at all, Kurt sat back carefully listening to the familiar words. He clapped politely when she finished and waited for the next act. Brett was now fully engaged in a game of Angry Birds on his phone, Kurt shook his head smiling and turned his attention back to the stage.

Kurt's heart leapt into his throat as he gazed upon the dark haired man plugging his guitar in. Kurt knew those dark curls and beautiful hazel eyes well. His hand shot out and grabbed Brett's wrist. Brett looked up from his game and saw Kurt's wide - eyed expression, his laboured breathing. He followed Kurt's stare, his eyes falling on the tan man on stage who had just swung his guitar into his lap and was plucking the strings with practised ease. There was only one person this could be, this had to be Blaine. He returned to look at Kurt who had a hand resting delicately over his heart, the other still clasped tightly around Brett's wrist.

"Babe?" Kurt just shook his head and watched Blaine on stage.

I heard that you're settled down

That you've found a guy and you're

married now.

I heard that your dreams came true

Guess he gave you things

I couldn't give to you.

Blaine looked up from his guitar into the silent audience, the pain evident on his face, his eyes flickered over Kurt and snapped back, he never missed a word.

Old friend, why are you so shy?

Ain't like you to hold back

Or hide from a lie.

He held Kurt's gaze for a few seconds longer before returning his attention to the rest of the audience.

...that for me it isn't over

Never mind I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best...

Blaine's voice was as strong as ever, the sheer emotion it help laid bare for all to see. Tears were forming in Kurt's eyes as he watched Blaine let it all out, yet perform flawlessly, his fingers dancing over the strings. Blaine's eyes drifted back to Kurt every now and again. Brett felt as though he was intruding on something so incredibly private. Kurt hadn't taken his eyes from Blaine once, his breathing had evened out, but Brett recognised that look on Kurt's face. He hadn't seen it before, but he knew true love when he saw it. A pang shot through him; he knew Kurt would never act on it, he probably didn't even realise himself that he still loved Blaine. But Brett knew.

Nothing compares, no worries or cares

Regrets and mistakes there memories make...

Blaine launched into the final chorus, his head raised slightly, his eyes clamped shut. He held the last note perfectly. Applause erupted in his ears. He stood thanking the audience, he didn't dare look at Kurt just yet. Blaine knew he needed to gather himself first, so he headed backstage and straight out into the fresh air outside the bar.

"Kurt?"

"Hmm?" Kurt turned to face Brett starting slightly, he had been so wrapped up in his own little world after Blaine left the stage he had almost forgotten Brett was there.

"Oh, yeah... sorry I was miles away." Kurt covered Brett's hand with both of his.

"That was quite a performance, I didn't realise Blaine was so..." Brett wasn't sure how to finish that - so talented? Emotive? Gorgeous? Nope, jealousy isn't attractive Brett, just focus on Kurt.

"So...what?" Kurt's face was quizzical, he knew Brett must have gathered it was Blaine by Kurt's reaction, he had never shown Brett any pictures. It hurt too much to look at them.

"So open, he really gives it all up there doesn't he?"

"Hmm, he always has when he was singing. I did not expect that tonight." Kurt's light blue eyes trailed back to the stage where an older man was now belting out a Neil Diamond song.

"That song, does it mean something to you...both of you?"

"How do you mean?" Kurt scrutinized Brett's eyes carefully, Brett looked nervous.

"I mean was it an important song for the two of you or anything?" Brett shifted his legs uncomfortably, he didn't want to put a dampener on their first proper night out in months, but really Blaine had already done that.

"No Brett, that is the first time I've heard Blaine sing an Adele song. And if you're going to read into every - "

Blaine appeared at the table cutting Kurt's lecture off prematurely.

"Um, I just thought I'd come over and say hi, I didn't know you'd be here. You must be Brett, pleased to meet you." Ever courteous, Blaine extended a hand which Brett shook firmly, looking him directly in the eye. Tension coursed through the air.

"That was quite a performance." Brett settled himself back into his seat, inching just that little bit closer to Kurt. Blaine didn't miss the action and had to fight the slight grin off his face.

"Thanks, I haven't done it publicly for a while so I'm a bit rusty." Blaine shoved his hands in his Jean pockets and shrugged.

"How about you Kurt, no criticisms?" He winked at the exceptionally quiet Kurt cheekily.

"It was a little plain." It was petty and he knew it, but Kurt couldn't bring himself to admit to Blaine how perfect he really was.

"Well, three years of not performing will do that to you. Anyway, I just wanted to say hi, so I'll leave you to your evening." Blaine raised a hand in farewell and headed for the bar.

He sat at the opposite end of the bar, he really didn't want to intrude on Kurt's evening, he had a feeling that just his presence would have done that enough tonight. The barman pushed a glass half full of honey coloured liquid towards Blaine. He picked it up and drained the glass tapping on the bar for another. He certainly didn't want to get drunk, but he was a bit shaky and needed something to take the edge off right now. He noticed someone take the seat next to him and ignored them until he felt a hand on his thigh. He looked up and saw a beautiful brunette looking up at him through mascara laden eyes. She fluttered her long lashes a couple of times and ran her finger gently up his leg. Blaine couldn't help but grin as she leaned across to whisper in his ear.

"All alone tonight handsome?" She wrapped a piece of chocolate coloured hair around her finger as she watched him.

" 'Fraid so." Blaine tried to return his attention to his drink, hoping she would get the message.

"I'm sure I could keep you company if you'd like."

"No I'm fine, thanks you." Blaine resolutely kept his gaze on his own fingers.

"No need to be shy honey, I won't bite...unless you want me to." The woman moved her fingers just a little too high on his leg causing Blaine to jump up suddenly. A couple of other people turned to look at him, but he just didn't care right now.

"I'm sorry, but I'm really not interested. I'm gay you see." Blaine looked her in the eye hoping to hell that she would just disappear.

"Oh.. right. Sorry, you just can't tell you know?" She stood up quickly and left Blaine alone. He returned to the seat signalling to the barman for another drink. A slim body slid into the seat next to him. He sighed loudly.

" Look lady, I tried to be polite but I really..." Blaine stopped talking abruptly when he turned to look at the body next to him. His gaze was met by clear blue eyes which looked highly amused.

"Don't look so smug. As if you've never had to fend off unwanted advances." His bottom lip stuck out sulkily.

"Never to the extent you had to, I just seem to scream gay you see." Kurt's lips twisted into a small smile.

"Brett sent me over, said he didn't like the idea of you sitting alone over here. He asked if you would like to join us." Blaine snorted gently.

"I don't think that would be a good idea." Blaine ran his fingers around the lip of the glass, relishing the cold hard glass underneath his fingertips.

"I did say you wouldn't, but he insisted. I don't mind if you do you know."

"I know, but I just don't think Brett and I would... get along particularly. I think I'm just going to go back to the hotel. Text me sometime to meet for coffee or something Ok?" Blaine paid for his drinks and stood.

"I will, Blaine, you were really good tonight." Kurt smiled softly, a gesture which was returned. Blaine nodded and said goodbye before returning backstage to collect his guitar. Kurt went back to the table, sliding into the booth to find Brett watching him almost anxiously.

"No Blaine?" Brett's fingers were crossed under the table. Sure he wanted to be polite and find out more about Blaine and what the hell happened between him and Kurt, but he didn't actually want to spend time with the stunning man that his boyfriend was clearly still in love with.

"No, he said he was just going to go back to his hotel. Right, do you want to stay here for a bit or wander down to Cat's?" Brett decided to let Kurt decide how to spend the night, his mind working overtime on plans of how to get to the bottom of this whole bloody mess.


	6. Chapter 6

Blaine sat in a cosy corner of the coffee shop watching the world go by right outside the window. He trailed his fingers idly through the crumbs on the small plate in front of him. He noticed a figure approach the table out of the corner of his eye, he looked up into friendly brown eyes.

"I almost didn't recognise you for a minute there – nice hair!" Nick grinned at Blaine as he stood and threw his arms around him.

"Nick, man it's good to see you." Blaine pulled back to look Nick full in the face, his friend looked good, happy. His eyes crinkled into a warm smile as Blaine gestured for him to take the seat opposite.

"Yeah, you too – you could have shaved though!" Blaine ran a hand over the spiky stubble on his face and laughed.

"I've been a bit busy since I got back, I guess it just slipped my mind."

"What brings you to New York then? I thought you were off travelling the world or something." Nick took a bite of his biscotti, his attention solely on Blaine as he spoke.

"I'm back for good, just couldn't stay away I guess." Blaine was being evasive and Nick knew it.

"Sounds good man, you'll have to come round to mine and Jeff's for dinner, he'd love to see you."

"Yeah, that'd be nice, I've missed you guys, how is Jeff and little Maisie of course?"

"He's good, they're both good. Maisie's six next week. How're your parents?" Nick had gotten a little sparkle in his eyes when talking about his adopted daughter. He and Jeff had adopted her about six months before Blaine had left New York, she was two and a half when they saw her, they spent the next two months going through all the rigmarole of adopting her. Blaine remembered well the look of pure joy on both their faces when they brought her home. He remembered with a pang Kurt leaning over to him all that time ago and whispering that it would be them next.

"Jeez, she's growing up fast, I'm glad you're all doing well Nick, I really am." Blaine took a sip of his coffee wistfully.

"So what's behind this move back here, or does your lack of answer to my last question answer that?"

"No my parent's have nothing to do with it, not directly anyway – and no before you go there I haven't moved back for Kurt, besides he's with Brett now, he's happy. I really screwed that one up didn't I?" He ran a thumb absent mindedly around the rim of his coffee cup.

" 'Fraid so, I never got it. You guys seemed so happy and then one day you just weren't together. I really thought you two would go the distance." Nick watched Blaine closely as he let out a dry, bitter chuckle.

"Hmm, right up until the point my father got involved. I'm still not entirely sure what was going through my mind when I left, it's like I've blanked the details out." Blaine's eyes had misted over, like he was trying to remember something long forgotten.

"Look man, I don't want to pry or anything, but since you're back how about you come over for dinner one night and we can have a good catch up and you can see Maisie."

"Yeah that sounds good, thanks Nick." Nick stood and began buttoning his coat.

"Do you still have out number? It hasn't changed." Blaine nodded and stood to envelop Nick in a tight hug. He hadn't realized just how much he had missed his friends.

"See you soon man." Blaine raised his hand in farewell and returned to his seat. His coffee had long since gone cold, but he wrapped his fingers around it regardless, deep in thought. His mind drifted back to the other night in the club where he had met Kurt's boyfriend. He was bias of course but Blaine just didn't think he was right for Kurt, and he seemed just that little bit too intuitive for Blaine's liking. It was clear that Brett loved Kurt, but who wouldn't? Kurt's perfect. Blaine let out a sigh and returned his attention to the people milling around outside. They all looked so busy, all had places to be. Yet here he was sat alone in a near empty coffee shop in New York. He really wanted his identity back, he wanted a job he would actually enjoy, he wanted his friends back and he wanted someone to call his own.

Of course given the choice he would have Kurt but he would never dream of trying to split Kurt and Brett up of course, so he would settle for a friendship. After all a friendship with Kurt was infinitely better than a life without him. He had missed Kurt immensely, he just wanted to get to know him again. So Blaine took out his cell and typed a message to Kurt. His stomach gave a little flutter and Blaine scolded himself internally. He had to get over this if he wanted any kind of friendship with Kurt. Kurt wouldn't still meet him if he thought Blaine was still in love with him. Kurt's reply came quickly confirming he was fine to meet Blaine for lunch later in the week. With that sorted Blaine decided he would visit a few local record shops and see if he could find himself a job. Music was his passion, so he thought he'd enjoy working around it.

As he stepped outside the coffee shop he took a deep breath of sharp city air and set off down the street determined to begin his new life and forget about the last four awful years.


	7. Chapter 7

Kurt was curled up on his sofa, tucked neatly into a corner watching Americas Next Top Model re – runs. It was the first time in a few weeks he had got to just relax and be by himself doing what he wanted for a while. He stretched his leg out along the sofa and flexed his toes. He had that pain that signalled he had been laid that way for far too long, but he really couldn't bring himself to care right now. The apartment was dark and quiet save for the television. Kurt could feel the lure of sleep trying to pull him in and wished he had the willpower to stop it. He really hated sleeping on the sofa, he always woke up with very attractive lines across his face, but with no – one here to encourage him against it, Kurt let himself be pulled into sleep.

Kurt found himself in Prospect Park walking by the water. It was fall and the leaves had turned fiery shades of red, yellow and orange. Kurt leant against the railings and looked at his rippled reflection in the surface of the leaf strewn water. A pair of warm arms wrapped around his waist accompanied by a stubbly chin resting on his shoulder. Kurt smiled happily and placed his hands over those on his waist.

"You know this should really be the other way around, you're too short to pull this off effectively." He heard a chuckle from behind him and turned around to face Blaine, flinging his arms around his neck.

"I'm sure you'll cope, we aren't exactly the type to follow convention after all." Blaine nuzzled into Kurt's neck gently. A tinkling laugh escaped Kurt and he kissed Blaine's temple tenderly.

"No, life would be far too boring." He took Blaine's hand and tugged him into a slow ample. He revelled in the simplicity of being with Blaine, the ease and comfort. He hardly noticed the sky beginning to darken as he and Blaine found a bench to sit on. He looked directly into Blaine's hazel eyes only to find they were now a bright startling green, Blaine's beautiful dark curls had been replaced with light brown waves. Kurt yanked his hand from Brett's.

"Where's Blaine?"

"He left, just like he always does." Brett's eyes were cold and hard.

"He wouldn't leave me again. Where is he?" Kurt was starting to panic. He didn't want Brett, he wanted Blaine.

"Wake up Kurt, he doesn't love you, you're dead to him now. You're mine." Brett's face remained emotionless while Kurt wiped tears frantically from his cheeks. He stood abruptly and began to look for Blaine. His heart was pounding painfully in his chest. Suddenly Brett grabbed Kurt by the shoulders and spun him around to face him, his face finally showing expression. Brett's face was contorted in rage, his hair flying wildly in the wind that had picked up considerably.

"Why do you always run back to him?" Brett shook Kurt roughly, Kurt tried to free himself but his arms were pinned tightly to his sides. He shook his head, terrified of the fire in Brett's eyes.

"Why don't you love me like you love him?" Brett manoeuvred Kurt to the water's edge, keeping a firm hold on him as he shoved him to his knees. Kurt could barely see through the tears welling up in his eyes, he blinked in an effort to clear them, but found that only made way for more. Brett's grip on his arms tightened becoming painful.

"Look! Look where your precious Blaine is now..." Kurt looked into the dark water and let out a strangled cry. He could see Blaine beneath the surface, his beautiful eyes staring up at Kurt. Empty. Lifeless. Kurt clutched at his heart, which felt as though someone had taken a blunt scalpel to it.

"No. Not Blaine. NO!" Kurt screamed in agony and turned to look into Brett's livid face.

"Why, why do you cry for him, why do you hurt for him even now?"

"Because I love him." Kurt bent double expecting to feel hard ground beneath him, but found cosy leather. A warm hand was stroking his back softly. The wind dyed down and Kurt could hear nothing but his own cracked sobs as he was pulled groggily out of his dream. Kurt blinked his sleep encrusted eyes open, his throat felt raw in the way it would if he had been screaming. He looked round and felt slightly disappointed to see Brett was the one rubbing comforting circles into his back.

"Hey you." Kurt pushed himself up and grabbed a cushion wearily, clutching it to his chest.

"Bad dream?" Kurt looked over at Brett, glad to see the warmth in his eyes; he tried to shake the image of angry dream Brett from his mind. The tears were still clinging to his eyelashes.

"Hmm." Brett placed a hand on Kurt's knee but removed it quickly when he felt Kurt flinch.

"Want to talk about it? It sounded pretty intense."

"Can't really remember it."I just remember it scared me." Kurt knew Brett would see through the lie, but he really didn't know how to explain why he was so affected by a mere dream. Brett raised his eyebrows but said nothing. Kurt watched him stand and go to the kitchen. He hugged the cushion closer and thought about the dream. He couldn't recall the last time he could actually remember his dreams, but somehow he knew this one would stay with him for a while. Prospect Park, he hadn't been there for years, but it made sense for it to appear in his dream. He and Blaine used to love walking through the park together. They would take trips to Brooklyn especially to visit the pretty park. But he and Blaine hadn't been that way with each – other since Blaine had left. That probably explained Blaine's sudden disappearance in the dream. Kurt couldn't wrap his head around angry Brett though. He didn't think he had done anything his subconscious would want to make him feel guilty for. Brett walked back from the kitchen placing a steaming mug of tea in front of Kurt and resumed his seat next to him on the sofa.

"I didn't think coffee was a great idea right now." He watched Kurt wrinkle his nose adorably as he took a sip of the tea and set it down instantly.

"I hate tea."

"I hate coming here to find you thrashing around crying and screaming in your sleep." Kurt looked at his boyfriend apologetically.

"Sorry, I must have scared you half to death."

"It's fine, once I realised you were dreaming I got it. It scared me more when I couldn't wake you, you looked terrified Kurt." Kurt just nodded and they sat in calm silence for a while. Brett looked at his fingers feeling a little nervous.

"You dreamed about Blaine didn't you." Kurt snapped round to look at Brett. Crap.

"I – I don't really remember."

"You were screaming his name Kurt." Kurt tried to swallow but found his throat too dry.

"I was probable dreaming about him leaving, that was a pretty sucky time for me." Brett snorted lightly and sat forwards, resting his elbows on his knees.

"Don't bullshit me Kurt. I know it was a big deal your first boyfriend leaving you, the only reason I don't know just how big a deal it was is because you won't tell me everything. I'm trying really hard to understand, but it's just got worse since he came back and now you're having nightmares and screaming his name. What the hell am I supposed to do if you won't talk to me?" Brett hadn't looked directly at Kurt once, and Kurt could do nothing but stare at Brett. Where the hell had that come from? Kurt felt himself get a little angry. An anger which was only intensified by the emotion left from his dream.

"I told you everything I knew Brett, Blaine wasn't just my first boyfriend, you know that because I told you about our relationship. I loved him so much; I nearly died when he wasn't here anymore. I'm sorry if our history complicates things, but I have been honest with you from the start about this. And contrary to popular belief I cannot control what I dream about." Kurt's chest was heaving and his fingers were gripping the cushion too tightly.

"Yeah right Kurt, you never told me just how intense you two are, even now. You still love him Kurt, even if you don't know it. I can see it even when you aren't with him." Brett threw his arms in the air, his eyes wide.

"If I love him and it's so freaking obvious then why are you still here?" Kurt could feel the sting of tears behind his eyes, he was so sick of crying.

"If it's so clear then why would you invite Blaine to join us, or was that a big test to see if I jumped him while you were there?" Kurt's arms flailed wildly as tears streamed down his face. He didn't want to argue with Brett, but this needed sorting and sorting now.

"Don't be ridiculous Kurt, I was being polite, he seems an alright and I figured that since you're trying to have a friendship with him it might help if I was at least civil to him."

"Well that answers one question. You managed to skilfully avoid the most important one, why are you still here if it's so obvious that I love Blaine?" Kurt knew he was pushing it, but this argument had been coming for months. In fact this was the first real argument in two years they had had. It was one of the things that really infuriated Kurt about Brett, he would not argue with Kurt.

"Because I still love you Kurt, and having even half of you is better than none of you. If there is even the slightest chance you'll choose me over Blaine I'm gonna take it." Kurt sat in silence for a second; Brett hadn't told him he loved him before.

"I can't tell you I love you Brett. I care about you very much, but I don't know if I will be able to truly love someone again, not to the same extent. It hurts too much." Kurt's voice was quiet; he hugged the cushion tightly as though it would disappear if he loosened his grip. Brett put his head in his hands and sighed deeply.

"This is ridiculous, what are we doing here? I shouldn't be holding you back like this."

"No Kurt, don't end this, not yet. We just need time to figure it all out. You need to decide what you want."

"You can't hang around waiting for me to make a decision, especially when Blaine might not even want me. It's not fair on you Brett, you deserve to be happy." Kurt reached across the gap between them and clasped Brett's hand carefully.

"Okay, how about we have a break, give each - other a few weeks to sort things out, figure out where we stand and see how it goes." Their eyes connected and Kurt nodded sadly.

"I should get going." Brett gave Kurt's hand a squeeze and stood up.

"Brett?" A single tear leaked out of Kurt's eyes. "I – I'm sorry." Brett couldn't bring himself to comfort Kurt, so he bent placing a gentle kiss to Kurt's soft cheek and turned away. He left his key to the apartment on the coffee table. Kurt squeezed his eyes shut and listened as the door fell shut behind Brett. He slid back down the sofa and curled himself tightly into a ball. He just wanted to sleep and wake up in the morning to find his life back to normal. Instead he resolved to get the truth out of Blaine tomorrow and try to sort out this complicated mess he called his life.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi guys so I have to warn you as to some pretty heavy content for this chapter. Nothing actually goes down but it gets mentioned and I just need you to know about it. **

**Thank you all so much for reading, it makes me smile that so many people have taken an interest in my little story and thank you especially to those who have reviewed, you make my day brighter!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Blaine loved to people watch. He had arrived at the restaurant early so he perched on a stool at the bar in a prime position to watch people as they came and went. Blaine saw the tall slender figure of Kurt step elegantly as ever through the door, looking around until his eyes fell on Blaine. Concern flared in Blaine's chest. Kurt looked tired in a way that spoke volumes. Kurt very rarely looked tired, even when he was exhausted. He sat next to Blaine instantly ordering a Jack and Coke.

"Bad day?" Blaine's eyebrows creased together as Kurt drained the glass.

"Bad few days" Kurt turned his gaze upon Blaine and felt his jaw go slack. Blaine had shaved and had his hair trimmed so it curled around his ears and fell onto his forehead gently. He was dressed in fitted dark blue jeans and a rich purple shirt, the top two buttons undone showing off his clavicle. A black leather belt adorned with an eagle buckle and patent black shoes completed the outfit.

"You got a hair cut." Kurt came to his senses a little and watched Blaine touch a hand to his hair.

"Mmm, not as short as it used to be, but I figured being seen with Kurt Hummel carries certain expectations." A small grin graced Blaine's chiselled features showing off his almost perfect teeth.

"So do you want to talk about it?"

"About what?"

"About whatever's got you so worked up, I can tell when something's wrong Kurt." Blaine's hazel eyes bored into the side of Kurt's head as he shrugged toying with the empty glass between his fingers.

"Not right now, we do need to talk, but can we just enjoy dinner for now please?" He finally met Blaine's intense gaze, a note of pleading showing in his vivid blue irises.

"Of course." Blaine stood and gestured for Kurt to walk ahead of him. He gave his name to the waiter and watched Kurt closely as they were shown to their seats.

Blaine reclined in his chair happily, pushing his empty plate away from him. In the time it had taken for him to polish off half a chicken, Kurt had done little more than re-arrange his salad.

"Not hungry?" It was all adding up to a very anxious Kurt, Blaine knew all the signs. Kurt shrugged and laid his fork down.

"Do you just want to pay and go somewhere to talk?" Blaine's expression was caring.

"No, we agreed to meet for dinner, I'm not back peddling now."

"Kurt I'm much more interested in making sure you're alright than staying here not eating in silence." He sat forward resting his elbows on the table, looking directly into Kurt's azure eyes. Kurt sighed heavily and rubbed his temples, closing his eyes briefly.

"Blaine we need to talk, properly. But I don't think here is an appropriate place, would you mind coming back to mine?" Kurt fixed Blaine with a steady stare.

"No that's fine, anything you want." Blaine flagged down a waiter asking for the bill, he watched Kurt closely; Kurt looked exhausted and while this was uncommon it was the sheer sadness in his eyes that really got Blaine. Kurt pulled out his red leather wallet and made to pay for his share when Blaine's hand appeared over his.

"Don't be daft. I've got this." Kurt just nodded, too tired to argue and began pulling his jacket and scarf back on.

The cab ride back to Kurt's apartment was quiet, but not uncomfortable. When the cab stopped Kurt paid the driver and stepped out gracefully, offering a hand to Blaine. Blaine stared at the tall building before following Kurt through the glass doors. Kurt greeted the man behind reception and proceeded to the elevator, pulling his gloves off as the doors slid open.

"Nice building." Blaine stepped in next to Kurt taking in the modern beauty the building had been decorated with. Kurt smiled slightly but said nothing. The elevator doors slid open on the seventh floor and Kurt stepped out turning right and stopped outside the fourth door. Kurt unlocked the door and walked into the spacious apartment removing his scarf and jacket and hanging them up on the ornate hooks by the door. He glanced to Blaine spreading his arms wide.

"Welcome to my home." He walked through to the living room trying very hard not to think about how right it felt for Blaine to be there. Blaine took in the ample apartment with it's impeccable interior design which simply reeked of Kurt. He couldn't help but notice that there seemed to be very little that didn't belong to Kurt.

"It's gorgeous Kurt, I assume you decorated?"

"Of course, the place was so bare when I bought it." Kurt curled up at one end of the sofa indicating for Blaine to sit. Blaine smiled and took the offered seat and both men were silent for a while. Blaine's nerves began to get to him, he sat forward clasping his tan hands together.

"So..." He glanced over at Kurt surprised to see his eyes shining.

"Brett's gone." Kurt grabbed his cushion, holding it to himself comfortingly, it was a mannerism Blaine had seen many times in the past when Kurt was upset.

"I don't understand, you two seemed fine when I saw you." Blaine was resisting the urge to take Kurt's hands, he wasn't sure Kurt would be comfortable with the contact.

"He came here the other day, I was asleep on the sofa having a nightmare, when I woke up he was here and talking about decisions and waiting around and said he thought we should take a break. He says I still l-love you." Kurt's eyes were wide, tears streaming down his porcelain cheeks as he hugged the cushion tighter. Blaine took a moment to calm himself, his heart having given a leap at the end of Kurt's ramble. When he spoke again he made sure to keep his voice calm and level.

"Okay, first off what decisions, who would be waiting and why?"

"Well Brett said it was clear that I still had feelings for you even when we aren't together, but that he would wait for me to decide whether I want to continue in my relationship with him or move on. I tried to tell him that it isn't fair for him to wait for me but he just said we needed some time away from each-other and I should talk to you."

"Okay, we need to establish something here before we go any further with this conversation." Blaine paused for a second his heart pounding.

"Do you still have feelings for me?" Kurt bit his lip, closed his eyes and nodded. Blaine's heart did a little skip.

"Right, in that case I think you need to know everything that's been happening over the last four years."

Blaine nudged his shoes off and sighed heavily, tucking his legs underneath himself.

"Okay, so you know a few days before everything kicked off my dad arrived in town wanting to have dinner right?" Kurt nodded silently.

"Well the dinner surprisingly wasn't that bad, Dad was pretty polite, bristled a bit any time I mentioned you – even worse when I told him I was planning on proposing to you, but he wasn't awful. So we had dinner, said goodbye and I made the mistake of walking home rather than paying for a taxi." Blaine paused and returned Kurt's engaged gaze.

"Um, this bit gets a bit uncomfortable, but you need to know so... I was walking past that music shop we bought the White Album from and I had my earphones in so I guess I didn't hear them, but these two guys grabbed me and dragged me into the alley. They were shouting stuff but I still had my earphones in. The biggest guy slammed me into the wall and held me there while the other ripped out my earphones. The shouted stuff, like I was disgusting, you know the usual. The the big guy punched me in the stomach and like, he, he touched me. Fuck! Why is this still so hard?"

Kurt swallowed and unburied his hand from the cushion, he flexed his fingers which were stiff from clutching so tightly to the cushion. This gave him a few seconds to collect himself. Finding out your ex boyfriend was beat up and he didn't tell you took a bit of digesting, and it sounded like there was worse to come.

"Blaine, you don't have to – if it's too hard I understand." Blaine flashed a grateful smile at Kurt but shook his head gently.

"No, I have to tell you, I've been quiet about this for too long. I – I can't go into detail, but I need to tell you, I owe you this." Kurt grasped Blaine's slightly sweaty hand, squeezing it gently.

"They broke me Kurt, they – shit – they raped me Kurt. They took everything we had and broke it so easily... When they were done the biggest guy spat on me and kicked me a couple of times and they left. I could smell him Kurt. On everything. I could smell him on my jacket, my shirt – o – on me. I just lay there for a while, I couldn't get up. When I found the energy I couldn't think straight. I knew my dad was in a hotel nearby so I went there." Blaine had to stop talking for a minute as the tears and sobs threatened to over-take him. Kurt didn't let go of his hand even as his own tears flowed freely down his face. He shuffled a little closer to Blaine, his heart physically ached as he watched him tremble. Why? Why had those ass-holes attacked Blaine?

"When my Dad answered the door he looked me up and down and just, he judged me, I could see it in his eyes. I wanted to come home to you, but he said I couldn't, said it would hurt you too much – that you wouldn't want me now I was broken. He told me to clean up and left me to it for a while. I was in such a bad place Kurt, I just sat under the scolding shower wishing all the dirt, the humiliation, the shame to go away. When I finally came out my Dad was waiting in the living room with a glass of whiskey. He told me to sit and gave me the drink. He talked about how I should have expected this, how I had brought this on myself – made myself a target. And do you know – non of this is even the worst bit for me." Blaine's voices was quiet but bitter. He was staring at the ground as though he would like to punch it, his eyes were so dark. Kurt sat in silence his fingers pressed to his mouth in quiet horror while he listened to Blaine. He wondered what could possibly be worse.

"The worst part was when he told me I couldn't tell you. I had to leave you. Of course I argued." Blaine's eyes snapped up to meet Kurt's – almost pleading.

"I argued against him, please believe that Kurt, I did not let go without a fight, what little fight I had left in me. But he kept saying how I was damaged now, broken. How no – one would want to be weighed down by me. I didn't listen until he told me how it could hurt you if I stayed. He told me what I would be putting you through – it would be easier if I didn't – and that meant not, ah how did he put it? - ah yes, not drawing attention to it." Blaine returned his angry stare to the carpet with a humourless laugh, kicking his shoes irritably.

"Blaine, non of this is your fault, how could you even think that? How could you believe your father of all people?" Kurt had a determined look on his face unwilling to accept that Blaine felt so little of himself. His legs were beginning to ache from sitting in the same position for so long, so he unfolded them, but tried to remain facing Blaine.

"You have to understand Kurt, my head wasn't screwed on right. I was all over the place. I didn't know who to trust, what was right – hell I couldn't have told you which way was up. And Dad just kept saying things like I had to come back to grab something's and leave. He told me that he would keep me safe, stop me from being a target, weak, a failure. And I believed him. I didn't want to be a burden to you – it hurt so much to leave you Kurt, but I honestly thought it was for the best, I thought me leaving would be better than you finding out how weak and pathetic I really was. I regretted it the minute I stepped on the plane. But I knew I couldn't come back. I couldn't just reappear after tearing your life apart, so I continued with my fathers plan. I missed you every second of every day. So many times I wanted to call, wanted to explain. I just couldn't. I was afraid you'd be angry, refuse to speak to me – rightfully so of course. Then Dad started sending me to more and more remote places for stories and the months soon turned into a year, two years and I knew it was too late." Blaine stopped talking and tucked his hands under his thighs, missing the warmth of Kurt;s hand in his. He waited for Kurt's response, his heart giving a nervous beat. #

Kurt wasn't entirely sure how to feel. Sadness seemed to be the main thing filling him up, anger too, not at Blaine but his father. He thought he should probably feel a bit angry at Blaine, but he didn't. He just wanted Blaine to be okay again. For him to be happy.

"I wish you'd stayed. We could have worked through it together. You should have known I wouldn't think you weak. You have never been a burden to me Blaine." Blaine chanced a look at Kurt, he saw a thoughtful expression gracing Kurt's beautiful features – not the anger he expected. He allowed a tiny bit of hope back into his heart that maybe, just maybe Kurt wouldn't turn away, push Blaine away.

"This is a lot of stuff to take in Blaine. But I want you to know this wasn't your fault. What they did to you was not your fault. Your Dad manipulating you when he should have been supporting you was not your fault, I won't lie to you leaving was a little bit your fault. You should have realised that when I said forever I meant it – regardless. It took me a long time to be okay again. But I understand better now. Thank you for telling me this, but I have one last question." Kurt raised his eyebrows asking if it was okay to proceed. Blaine nodded, a lump of dread filling his throat.

"Why now? Why come back after all this time?"

Blaine took a deep breath and let it out through his nose gently. He got up the courage to look Kurt in the eye directly – searching for any trace of anger. Instead Kurt's face showed only curiosity, his eyebrow arched, his lips set in a firm but not unkind line.

"Mainly I missed you. I was in this shitty café in Kuwait and they had this Beatles picture framed on the wall. It reminded me of you singing Blackbird, how I felt when you sang that and how it hadn't really changed. I knew I had to come back, try to at least see you. I kept in touch with a couple of the Warblers who kept in contact with Mercedes and they told me you were singing at Bernies. Obviously that was a little out of date, but it gave me something to work to. My dad died little over a year ago from a stroke and I was just holding down the fort so to speak. It's my company now so I get to go where I want. Where I wanted was here. With you."

Blaine sat back in the sofa, removing his hands from under him. He felt Kurt's gaze on him and looked at his nails, picking at them.

"I'm sorry about your dad. I never liked the man, but no – one deserves to lose a parent." Kurt leaned forward taking one of Blaine's hands in his, forcing Blaine's to look at him.

"I don't know exactly what you want from this, I'm not sure what I want from this. But I don't want to lose you again. Even if this..." Kurt gestured to both of them. " is all we'll ever be. I can't lose you again. I think you are a fool Blaine Anderson for ever doubting that my love for you – for us, would stretch to help you with the pain of everything. But I would like to try to rebuild some of what we had. I – if of course that's something you want too."

Kurt suddenly looked nervous, Blaine squeezed his hand tenderly.

"I would love that. I can't lose you again either." Blaine smiled weakly over at Kurt, taking in the true blue of his eyes, and thought that maybe, just maybe there was a little hope. He knew there was a lot of work to be done and it would take time and getting to know each - other again, rebuild that trust, the connection. But this was a start.


	9. Chapter 9

This was Blaine's third viewing of the day. He leant against the half width counter, arms folded against his chest trying to imagine himself living here. The realtor tapped her pen against her clipboard, a fake smile plastered on her angular face.

"I'm not sure you understand, I have plenty of money, money is not an issue here, so I want a half decent apartment. Nothing over the top and I will know if you're fleecing me, but can we please step out of the student apartments now?" Blaine raised his whiskey coloured eyes allowing just a hint of puppy into his expression.

"I'm just trying to fit the demographic here, you're a young man wanting an apartment in New York. Unless you're a millionaire -" Her steel coloured eyes raked over his sneakers and cotton hooded jacket before she continued."- this is really as good as it gets" Blaine leaned forward placing his hands firmly on the opposite counter and smiled to himself slightly.

"Okay, enough for today, but how about you go back to the office and google my surname and get back to me with some other apartments as soon as you can?" Blaine led the way to the door hearing the clack of the realtor's heels hurrying after him. Ever the gentleman, Blaine held the door open for her and bid her farewell. He made his way back to the hotel with a skip in his step. Everything was starting to feel real, like things were starting to come together. He had a job in a local music store, only a few days a week, but that suited Blaine fine, he figured he had more time to spend on his own music now.

His father's company was being taken care of by Louis who had been at the firm longer than Blaine had been alive. This evening Blaine had a Karaoke date with Kurt, the first of their 'lets get to know each - other' dates. After their talk a few days ago they had agreed to take it slow, learn about each - other again, most of all support and help each - other and aid each - other to overcome the pain of the last few years.

As Blaine entered his hotel room he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He fished it out while kicking the door shut behind him.

"Hello?" Blaine listened to a hectic background before a familiar voice answered him.

"Hello Mr Anderson, my name is Belinda Collins, I'm ringing on behalf of your mother, are you available to talk?"

"Um, yeah I guess." Blaine realised he was still stood in front of the door, so he moved to sit at the small round table against the far wall.

"Excellent, I'll just connect you." Blaine perched on the end of the chair, his fingers fiddling with the seam of his shirt nervously. It had to be three years since he had seen his mother, he spoke to her briefly at his father's funeral of course, but other than that he hadn't heard from her. What on earth did she want?

The line crackled a little

"Hello, Blaine?" His mother's voice was crisp and business like as ever. Blaine found himself sitting up straighter at just the sound.

"Hi Mom."

"Ah, yes. Good. I hear you've settled back in New York?" Did she have people watching him or something?

"Yes, I'm still at the Michelangelo at the moment, but I have a realtor looking for apartments for me." Blaine subconsciously smoothed out a crease in his jeans.

"Ah, lovely. Well I am in town for the week, I thought we could have dinner, how's tonight?" Blaine snorted. Typical, why would she wait for an answer or think that possibly Blaine already had plans?

"I can't, I have plans for dinner with Kurt. Perhaps you should give me more warning." He tried to contain the irritation in his voice, but found himself speaking through gritted teeth.

"Oh? I thought you were done with him? No matter, how about Friday?" Her tone was indifferent and only annoyed Blaine further.

"That should be fine." Blaine figured keeping his answers as short as possible was best at the moment.

"Lovely, I'll have Belinda send you the details OK?" Blaine made a non – committal noise.

"Right, I must fly, see you Friday." The call disconnected and Blaine just sat there for a minute. His mother was in town. His mother.

He shook his head gently as if the action would somehow shake the knowledge away. His phone vibrated again, but this time Blaine saw it was a text, from Kurt. He smiled a little giddily and opened the message.

Hey you, still on for tonight? K.

Have you ever known me turn down Karaoke? B.

Hmm. Good point, I'm going to live to regret this aren't I? K.

You'll see ;) Pick you up at 8? B.

See you then :) K.

Blaine placed his phone on the table feeling considerably happier for texting Kurt. Glancing at his watch he saw it was only four so he grabbed his guitar and continued working on his latest song.

Kurt positioned himself neatly in front of his vanity having completed his skincare routine in the bathroom. He began blow drying his hair focusing on the light brown strands intensely in an effort to stop himself from over thinking. His mind had been on one thing all day. Blaine. He wasn't nervous, but he wondered whether he should be. After all they had done this a thousand times, but they were both different people now. They had both been through life changing experiences. Kurt sighed and laid the hair dryer down. He wanted to do this, he knew he did. Maybe this date would clarify for Kurt where they stood, and where he and Brett stood. He hated leaving Brett hanging like this.

Back when Kurt had just moved to New York with Blaine it had all felt so right, so easy. Sure the classes were hard and making ends meet was hard and frustrating, but he had never doubted their relationship. It just seemed obvious that they would always be together through good and bad. Now it was a little uncertain and it definitely unnerved him how perfect it still felt for Blaine to be with him in his apartment. It didn't seem to matter where they were they just fitted. After all this time that scared Kurt a little. Surely it ought to be strange, perhaps even a little awkward. He began spraying his hair into place, the hand holding the hairspray swirling above his head for a few seconds. He needed to stop over thinking all this and just see where it took him.

He stood facing the clothes he had laid out earlier that day and smiled at the prospect of watching Blaine perform again, especially in a less formal setting. He would never tire of watching Blaine perform. The clock read seven fifteen leaving Kurt plenty of time to get dressed. Excitement began to flare in his chest. It was official. He was a teenager again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi guys, so this one has taken me a while to write and I hope it doesn't show how hard work this was, but I hope you like it. Also I'm looking for a beta reader, so if you know of anyone good or fancy a try yourself just send me a message :)**

* * *

Blaine approached Kurt's door at dead on eight and knocked politely, he tugged the sleeve of his jacket over his shirt sleeve as the door was pulled open. His heart skipped a beat as he looked at Kurt, taking in the fitted grey jeans, white jersey and black waistcoat he was wearing. Pinned neatly to the waistcoat was Kurt's old Warbler's pin, Blaine grinned and pulled his jacket to the side revealing his own pin.

"Ready?" Kurt cocked an eyebrow at Blaine while he shrugged his coat over his broad shoulders.

"Huh? Yeah, of course – yeah." Kurt chuckled at Blaine's inarticulacy and locked the door before taking Blaine's arm and half dragging him out of the building. Neither man noticed someone step quickly into an alcove to avoid being seen. They both chatted casually until the elevator doors opened and Blaine indicated for Kurt to step ahead of him. When the doors slid shut again Brett stepped out of the alcove feeling his heart plummet. He glanced at the bright bouquet in his hands and threw them against the wall, the only sound in the hallway was that of rustling paper as the flowers slid to the floor. Brett tried to calm his emotions and think rationally. He turned away from the door and headed toward the elevator instead. He mentally chided himself, it had been he who suggested this, he who had told Kurt to figure out his feelings toward Blaine. He needed to stay calm, Brett had no right to get angry at him for it. He jabbed the ground floor button moodily and resigned himself to an evening in front of the television.

* * *

They were sat in the back of a taxi when Blaine's phone rang. He glanced at the number fully intending on just re-pocketing it when he realized it was Nick calling. He apologised to Kurt and answered.

"Hey Nick." Kurt raised an eyebrow, but remained silent.

"_Hey man, how're you?"_

"I'm good on my way to Whinnie's with Kurt. What can I do for you?" Blaine flashed Kurt a grin.

"_Sorry, didn't mean to disturb you, just thought you might want to come over this weekend, you busy?" _ Blaine could hear Maisie in the background and smiled to himself.

"I can do Saturday if that's OK, my Mom's in town on Friday..." Kurt listened to Blaine arrange his weekend, watching him closely. Blaine seemed to smile a lot, but if you looked closely you could tell it wasn't his true smile. Kurt thought back to before New York, the bright, wide, truly uninhibited smiles he used to see shine on Blaine. All teeth and starry eyes. Kurt missed those smiles. Blaine finished his phone call just as the taxi pulled up in front of a small red brick building, he paid the driver, oblivious to Kurt's scrutinizing gaze.

He stepped out of the vehicle helping Kurt out with a roguish smirk.

"Sorry about that, I bumped into Nick at the coffee shop the other day and he invited me round."

"I was at theirs a few weeks ago, you'll die when you see Maisie, she's so big." Kurt followed Blaine into the Karaoke bar and pointed to a round table right near the stage. They were early so not many people were there yet.

"Mmm, I'm looking forward to seeing them all, it's nice to have some familiar faces around again, drink?" Blaine remained standing so he could go straight to the bar.

"Surprise me." Kurt said cheekily and watched Blaine head to the bar. He couldn't help admiring him from where he sat. It was obvious Blaine looked after himself, his back was toned and strong beneath the very well fitted purple polo he wore, which was tucked into dark jeans that hugged his slender hips just the right amount. Kurt had always loved the fact that Blaine always seemed to find clothes that fit him perfectly, a feat Kurt noticed most men their age struggled with. Blaine turned, clutching an orange cocktail in each hand. He walked steadily, his eyes trained on the glasses he was carrying, Kurt thought he looked adorable concentrating so hard. He moved the arm he had rested on the table while he watched Blaine as the two drinks were placed in front of him. On closer inspection Kurt noticed that the cocktail was two shades of orange graduated into each-other, a slice of pineapple had been perched on the edge of each glass.

"What on Earth is that?" Kurt met Blaine's excited gaze with an incredulous one of his own.

"Tequila Sunrise." Blaine said simply taking a sip of his through the rainbow coloured straw.

"Tequila? Are you trying to get me drunk Mr Anderson?" Kurt's eyes widened and he sniffed the drink.

"There's not that much tequila in it, it mostly tastes of orange juice, trust me, just taste it." Blaine pushed Kurt's drink further towards him, the straw bumping into his chin. Kurt took a tiny sip and was pleasantly surprised at how sweet but refreshing it was. He noticed Blaine watching him questioningly.

"OK, it's not bad, it's sort of nice actually." Blaine punched the air victoriously making Kurt roll his eyes fondly. He missed this – more than he'd thought.

"Right, how many songs d'ya want to sing?" Kurt thought for a moment.

"Two, I'm not sure I'll be capable of much more than that after a few more of these! Make one of them Broadway, Rachel would kill me if I didn't!" Kurt raised his glass as Blaine chuckled and went to put their names down. He returned a few minutes later to find Kurt chatting animatedly with an attractive brunette woman. He approached the table slowly, not wanting to disturb them. As soon as Kurt noticed him he grabbed his hand, dragging him into the seat next to him.

"Blaine! This is Cora, we went to college together, Cora, this is Blaine." Kurt's eyes were positively sparkling.

" 'The' Blaine?" Mysterious brown eyes flickered questioningly between Kurt and Blaine waiting to confirmation, Kurt once again rolled his eyes.

"Yes Cora, 'The' Blaine." Kurt's hand had come to rest on Blaine's thigh. Blaine could feel the heat spread from where Kurt's hand lay and just smiled benignly.

"Am I famous now?" Blaine took a sip of his cocktail while Cora's eyes raked over both Kurt and himself.

"Hmm." She made a non – committal noise and turned back to Kurt.

"Okay, I'll leave you to it, stick around, I'm going to be wowing you all with my amazing vocal abilities later!" Kurt giggled and returned the kiss she blew him before she went to the bar and rejoined her friends. Kurt turned to find Blaine staring at him with a thick eyebrow raised. Kurt clicked his tongue dramatically.

"I met Cora literally about a month after your Dad came to town. I – I was a bit of a mess and she gave me a good dose of reality and helped me find my feet. She's a bit of a character, but her heart's in the right place." Kurt avoided Blaine's eyes and twiddled the straw between his fingers.

"In that case I'm quite surprised I'm still in one piece." Blaine chuckled. Kurt raised his head to look at Blaine, who was smiling, his eyes crinkling in the corners. They talked amicably about their careers until the Karaoke started. They watched the first few people, laughing so hard their eyes watered at Cora's very physical rendition of "I feel like a Woman". After the fourth person Blaine stood, weaving his way to the stage. Kurt turned to face him.

_It doesn't matter if you love him._

_Or capital H I M._

His eyes flicked to Kurt, he winked and threw himself into the performance, captivating as ever, but really just letting his hair down. Kurt watched in utter rapture as Blaine tossed his head around and danced goofily. Every now and then his eyes found Kurt's and Kurt's heart did a pleasant king of jump. He had never felt quite like this with anyone else. He knew he still loved Blaine, he was fairly certain that he would always love Blaine. He just didn't know how to overcome the last few years. One thing was for certain though, he was not going to let Blaine go again. He would fight for this feeling, he would fight for Blaine to be Okay again, he would fight for them.

_I was born this way, hey._

_I was born this way, hey._

_I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way, hey._

Blaine finished the song of with an ambitious leap in the air, landing to tumultuous applause. Kurt bobbed in his seat, clapping enthusiastically as Blaine pointed at him. He understood this to mean it was his turn. When he reached the stage, Blaine handed him the microphone and winked at him before making his way back to their table. Kurt turned around, the bright lights hitting him full force and wiping away any nervousness he had. This was where he belonged. He turned his eyes upon the small screen and smiled happily.

_I had a dream, a dream about you, baby.  
It's gonna come true, baby.  
They think that we're through, but baby, _

Kurt turned his gaze on Blaine, moving his body to the music.

_Now's your inning. Stand the world on it's ear!  
Set it spinning! That'll be just the beginning!  
Curtain up! Light the lights!  
You got nothing to hit but the heights!  
You'll be swell. You'll be great.  
I can tell. Just you wait.  
That lucky star I talk about is due!  
Honey, everything's coming up roses for me and for you! _

Kurt ran over the familiar lyrics in his mind, thinking how apt they were for how he was feeling right now. Regardless of the intended meaning, these lyrics took on a whole new life for him and Blaine. He whipped his head round to peer over his shoulder at his audience and put everything he had into the last few lines.

_Everything's gonna be bright lights and lollipops!  
Everything's coming up roses for me and for you! _

The lights died as the music ended and Kurt bowed to the applauding audience, a bright, wide smile lighting up his face. He noticed Blaine coming toward him through the audience, motioning for him to stay on stage. When Blaine hopped up the few stairs he accepted a second microphone and turned to stand beside Kurt. He leaned close, his lips ridiculously close to Kurt's ears.

"Next one's a duet." He pulled back grinning mischievously. As the music started up Kurt raised his eyebrows in surprise. Blaine took the first verse, circling Kurt on the stage as he sang.

_I'm gonna ask you so you understand  
What you done with your time  
Oh think it over baby  
Just keep walkin' on  
Until you find your man _

Kurt joined in on the chorus happily noting that their voices still blended beautifully even after all this time.

_Don't it feel so bad?  
Well I'm used to that  
Don't it feel so bad?  
Get used to that_

Baby, please don't go to far  
I swear I love ya  
Just the way you are

They faced each-other on the stage, Blaine bopping along with the beat, Kurt using his arms to emote what he was singing. He knew it was true, and Blaine had obviously picked this song for a reason. He knew that Blaine wouldn't rush this, he just wanted Kurt to know. Kurt threw himself into the song like he never had before and hoped the message would get through to the gorgeous man stood just across from him. Yes I do love you. No matter what.

_Don't push it baby  
Please don't go to far  
I swear I love ya  
Just the way ya are  
Oh skin and bones baby  
Yes you are my star  
I swear I love ya  
Just the way ya are _

They both belted out the final chorus, finishing to practically a standing ovation in the small room. Both men were breathing heavily, smiling broadly and feeling elated as they stepped of stage and returned to the table. Almost the minute Kurt settled in his seat Cora grabbed his arm and dragged him up.

"Um, I guess I'll be right back!" He called to Blaine who laughed, shaking his head slightly.

Cora dragged Kurt right outside the bar before spinning him round to face her. She leapt at him, gripping him in a tight hug. Kurt laughed and held her.

"Oh, Okay, what's this about? Not that I'm complaining, a hug is always welcome but was it really necessary to drag me outside to do so?" Cora finally pulled back and beamed at Kurt.

"It's just so nice to see you like this. You were amazing up there Kurt, you looked so... alive." Kurt made a small 'aww' noise but Cora continued.

"He makes you so happy, I don't care if you're together or not, you were shining. I wish you could'a seen yourself. I'm assuming there was a real reason behind everything and that he has explained that to you if you're here singing and dancing with him?" Cora placed a hand on her curvaceous hip and stared at Kurt.

"Yes, things have been explained, we're not together though. It's complicated and messy and needs working through, but I think we can do it..." Kurt paused before adding the last word in a small hopeful voice. "... together." Cora squeezed Kurt's hand gently before turning serious.

"And what about Brett?" Kurt took a deep breath noting the twinge of guilt in his chest.

"It was his idea for me to figure out my feelings for Blaine. I tried to argue that it wasn't fair but... I think I know what I'm going to tell him, even if Blaine and I don't end up in a relationship, I can't continue with Brett when my feelings for Blaine are as they are." Cora nodded understandingly.

"Okay, I just had to check. It's been to long Kurt. I don't want to keep you from that gorgeous man in there, but call me, we need a gossip session! Okay?" Kurt nodded, a coy smile gracing his defined face.

"Promise?" Cora help up her pinky finger, a stubborn look on her tan face. Kurt rolled his eyes but linked his pinky with hers non-the-less.

"Promise, now can we please go back inside, it's freezing out here!" They linked arms returning to the club.

Blaine looked up when he noticed Kurt approaching the table once again and smiled into those sparkling blue eyes. Kurt plunked himself in the seat, rubbing his arms and noticed Blaine had got more drinks. He reached into his pocket to retrieve his wallet when a warm hand on his free arm made him pause. He looked up into undeniably warm honey coloured irises ringed with long, thick black lashes.

"Don't even bother." Blaine tilted his head indicating Kurt's wallet, the look in his eyes told Kurt he wouldn't be argued with so he shrugged gently and replaced his elbows on the table, leaning across the table ever so slightly.

"Thank you." He looked at Blaine through his lashes, stirring his drink with the straw.

"For...?"

"Just, for this. I'm having a really good time." Blaine beamed at him and they both turned to watch the last few people sing.

When that Karaoke was over a fair few people left the bar, leaving only a few groups behind. A piano sat in the corner of the room. Blaine crossed the room, glancing back to make sure Kurt was following, and sat himself at the piano. He flexed his fingers and played a few notes to nothing in particular while Kurt leaned against the piano, his legs crossed over one another as he watched Blaine play. They spent the rest of the night playing a few old favourites and swapping stories until the bar closed. Blaine said nothing when Kurt slipped his cold hand into his, but felt the corners of his mouth twitch and his chest fill with something that felt a lot like happiness. He could get used to this.

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**Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I am always grateful for feedback!**

**Songs used are Jet - Skin and Bones .com/watch?v=8nuBoPU4k5Q**

**Everything is coming up Roses from Gypsy - .com/watch?v=lkJzUwOBayk**

**Lady Gaga - Born This Way - .com/watch?v=wV1FrqwZyKw&ob=av2e**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi guys, so firstly I need to say that this will be expanded on, and Marissa will be making another appearance, I just love the villainy of her character! Also credit has to go to leftrightbrain who has helped me with this chapter, I'm so grateful for your input! Anyway, enjoy guys!**

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The walk to the restaurant was short, yet Blaine still had time to completely freak himself out before he got there. There was a reason Blaine and his mother very rarely saw each-other; they didn't see eye to eye. On anything. Nonetheless he straightened his mint green tie and pushed open the ornate doors in quiet resolution. The bored looking Host quickly plastered a falsely bright smile on his face as he greeted Blaine.

"Good Evening Sir, Welcome to Blue Fin. Do you have a reservation?"

"It should be under Anderson, I'm meeting someone, is she here yet?" Blaine tapped out a silent beat against his thigh while the Host checked the leather bound book.

"No Sir, you're a little early, if you would like to wait in the bar our staff would be happy to assist you." The man gestured elegantly towards the marble bar. Blaine ducked his head in thanks and headed toward it. Perhaps a few moments alone would help him gather what strength and patience he would require for the evening.

He had been sat in the chair no more than two minutes when he heard a familiar voice carry effortlessly across the room. He turned cautiously in his chair, his eyes landing on a petite woman with carefully styled hair wearing a deep pink suit that just screamed designer. The Host didn't seem quite sure what to do with himself in the presence of the rather intimidating Marissa Anderson. Blaine took pity, and in three strides found himself facing his Mother for the first time since his Father's funeral.

"Ahh Blaine, there you are, I was just attempting to find out if our table was ready, but once again I am met with sheer incompetence." She tapped an acrylic nail against the desk top impatiently.

"Hi Mom." The Host grimaced at Blaine in sympathy and finally spoke.

"Your table isn't quite ready Sir, but one of our staff will notify you as soon as it is." Blaine heard his Mother snort derisively and made an executive decision, linking his arm with Marissa's and leading her towards the bar.

"So Mom, how're things?" Marissa perched on the edge of a stool primly, sweeping her dark brown eyes over Blaine.

"You look thin Blaine, are you eating properly?" She straightened his tie, oblivious the the roll of his eyes. Blaine knew that his mother liked to ask questions that gave the impression she noticed what was going on with her son. He wondered to himself if she would even pay attention to the answer. "Yes Mom, I think I'm capable of feeding myself." He was positive he looked the same since she last saw him.

A waiter appeared to tell them their table was ready. Marissa smiled slightly and followed the waiter between the tables to a quiet area. Ever the gentleman, Blaine gestured for her to sit before he took his own seat across from her. He made to rest his elbows on the dark red tablecloth, but with a stern look from his Mother he quickly dropped his hands to his lap. They perused the menu in near silence, Blaine watching his Mother carefully the entire time. Once orders had been given Marissa cast a shrewd eye on her son.

"I heard you've started working in a music shop." Blaine raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Yes, I'm trying something new. How exactly..?"

"Oh please Blaine, you don't honestly think I don't keep track of what you're up to? I am your Mother after all. Someone has to." Marissa rearranged her cutlery subconsciously.

"You mean you've got people watching me?" Blaine sat back in his seat and folded his arms across his chest.

"Not watching Blaine, just looking out for you. You've been spending a lot of time with that Hummel boy again too." Blaine shifted in his seat, Marissa's eyes never left his.

"Are you two back together?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but no. Currently we are not back together. We're just taking things slowly. And his name is Kurt, Mom." Blaine watched Marissa purse her lips.

"All right, Kurt. Is this really what you want Blaine? You want to regress?" The clack of acrylic on the metal of the knife was starting to grate on Blaine's nerves.

"I fail to see how this is me regressing, Mom. Kurt means the world to me, always has. As far as my job goes, it makes me happy. I'm still head of Dad's firm, but I want to be in music." Blaine clasped his hands together tightly hoping the pressure would prevent him from losing his temper. He knew that coming here was a bad idea.

"Oh come on, Blaine, when are you going to leave this phase behind you and find a nice girl? I can live with your sudden desire for an alternate career, but really Blaine, Kurt isn't a long term thing." Marissa's eyes were hard as she looked at her son. A single strand of ebony hair fell onto her forehead, but she made no move to replace it.

"I refuse to have this conversation with you again. I though we were over this. This is not a phase. This is my life. Kurt is my life, whether you like it or not, Mom. If you can't accept that, then we don't need to have a relationship." Blaine's voice was low and dangerous, and his eyes flashed when he raised them to look his Mother in the eye. She simply smirked at him and straightened her napkin.

"How dramatic. You always were quick to anger, Blaine." Blaine's mouth dropped open just a little, his face showing nothing but exasperation. He stood, replacing his napkin on the table gently.

"Goodbye Mother." With that Blaine strode out of the restaurant, never looking back. As soon as the cool night air hit him he breathed a sigh of relief. He dug in his pocket for his phone, dialing Kurt's number.

"Hey, I though you had..." Blaine cut Kurt short.

"Can I come over?" Blaine had already turned in the direction of the taxi stand.

"Um, sure, was it that bad?" Blaine could hear the unmistakeable sounds of the coffee machine being turned on in the back ground.

"You have no idea. I'll be there in ten."

–

Blaine knocked on the door, most of his anger having dissipated on the journey. Kurt opened the door and thrust a steaming mug of coffee at Blaine.

"Why did you knock? This clearly qualifies as a crisis, doors and usual boundaries do not apply. Rule number Three." Blaine smiled gratefully at Kurt, toeing off his shoes and making his way to the living room.

"Okay rant, let it all out, tonight I am your sounding board." Kurt curled his legs beneath him next to Blaine on the sofa. Blaine just snuggled deeper into it, letting his head loll back to rest on the back of the sofa. His voice was soft when he spoke.

"I'd forgotten about our Crisis Rules." Kurt smiled and hugged a cushion to his chest, but didn't say a word.

"I left before she could really get started." Blaine closed his eyes in a vain attempt to ward off the impending migraine. Kurt pulled Blaine's head into his lap and began massaging his temples.

"She gave me the whole 'when are you going to find a nice girl' crap. I really thought we were past this. She was so smug, like every decision I've made on my own is so wrong. She tried telling me I was regressing with the music shop, being back here...you." Kurt's hands stilled for a millisecond, almost imperceptibly.

"OK, I get why you were angry. I can't say I'm surprised."

"I'm not even angry any more; I was. I mean I just...I feel deflated. I guess I was stupid enough to think we could actually have a normal dinner. I'm just disappointed I guess. I really wanted her to be supportive. I'm kind of disappointed in myself, too. I thought I was strong enough not to let her get to me like this." He traced the handle of the mug with his thumb. Kurt's fingers still working magic on his temples.

"You're not stupid Blaine. Your Mother is if she can't see what an amazing son she has, just the way you are. You don't need to be a businessman, you don't need to be perfect, you do not need to be straight. You're amazing, Blaine. Don't let her take that away from you." Kurt didn't take his eyes off Blaine's chiseled features. Blaine opened his eyes, gazing straight up into Kurt's beautiful blue irises. The air crackled with that unknown electricity. Kurt leaned down a little, his hand cupping Blaine's face gently. Blaine blinked slowly, his heart beating a violent tattoo within his chest. He raised his head and closed the gap between them.

The kiss was slightly awkward, upside down, hurt both their necks a little, but still so, so perfect. All the sadness that had filled Blaine's heart since he left the restaurant disappeared, replaced with bursts of happiness. He brought one hand up to Kurt's long neck to hold him there. He didn't want this to be over. He needed to know this was real. Kurt seemed to be thinking along the same lines as he pressed against Blaine a little harder, committing the feeling, the taste of Blaine to memory. Just in case.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Hi guys, I am so sorry this took so long, my Grandma passed away just after I posted the last chapter, so I've had a lot to organise where that's concerned, I also chose to completely rewrite this just a couple of days ago. I think I may be a glutton for punishment. Any way, I want to thank my amazing beta leftrightbrain, and I hope you enjoy this :)**

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Kurt stepped into his office. It had been a productive morning, two new clients, one satisfied with his design for their garment. Blaine had left this morning with the promise that after his apartment viewing he would be in touch.

All that was left to do today was to meet Brett. Kurt was nervous, but more because he really didn't want to hurt Brett as he knew was inevitable. He just couldn't deny his feelings for Blaine. The past few weeks had been a roller coaster of ups and downs, but he knew, now more than ever, what the right decision was. So, with a heavy heart he pulled on his leather jacket and left the boutique.

They had agreed to meet in a small coffee shop a short cab ride away. Kurt's head was filled with thoughts of what he wanted to say to Brett on the journey over, try as he might he couldn't quite come up with the right words.

The cab pulled up a few doors down from the coffee place; he knew Brett would already be there; he was always, unfalteringly early. Kurt strode with what he hoped was a confident manner and pushed the door open.

He scanned the shop and found to his surprise that he had beaten Brett there. His brow creased slightly, but he approached the counter and ordered his drink regardless. A few minutes later, while seated at a small round table in the far corner, he saw Brett approach the shop talking on his phone. He looked good, happy. Kurt smiled to himself while he watched Brett finish his phone call. As Brett entered the shop he spotted Kurt, raising a hand in greeting while he ordered his drink. When he approached the table he smiled genuinely at Kurt.

"Hey you." Brett sat down.

"Hi, how've you been?"

Brett took a sip of his iced tea before answering. "Good, thanks. You?" Brett's eyes swept Kurt's face as if searching for something. Kurt smiled and brushed a rogue strand off his forehead.

"Good, thank you. Better I guess." A slightly awkward silence fell upon the table. Kurt wasn't sure how to tell Brett that this was it. Probably the last time they would meet like this. A pang of sorrow shot through his chest, but he couldn't feel bad about this. He hadn't seen it coming and he refused to be sorry for loving someone. Least of all Blaine.

"I've met someone." Brett's voice was quiet and hopeful and it shook Kurt out of his thoughts.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I was pretty cut up. Um, I saw you and Blaine leaving your place a few weeks ago and went to a bar. I drunk myself stupid and Greg was there. He just understood, he's helped." Brett looked directly at Kurt, looking for some sort of reaction to his words.

"That's great, I'm glad. So are you two together or...?" Kurt cocked his head to one side quizzically. He felt as though a small weight had been lifted. Brett was okay, he was happy.

"No, um... we both acknowledge we have feelings but he's not long out of a relationship and we decided it'd be best just to take it slow. It's nice though. How're things with Blaine?" He crossed his legs and leaned back in the wooden chair. A small smile lit up Kurt's face at the question.

"Um, complicated, but good. We talked things through. He had some pretty heavy reasons for leaving, and he's had a lot to deal with, but he seems better now. My feelings clearly hadn't disappeared, and last night we decided to make a go of things." Kurt ran his finger up the side of his coffee mug, watching Brett closely.

"That's great Kurt. I really hope you guys work out."

"I'm sorry, Brett. I didn't want any of this to hurt you, it's the last thing I want, you've been so good to me." He wouldn't ask to remain friends, it seemed like an insult to what they shared somehow. Besides, it just didn't seem right.

"I know, believe me Kurt. I'm glad we did this though, now we can both move on without any "what ifs?" hanging over us. This is good for us I think." He grinned broadly over at his ex-boyfriend. No hard feelings, no regrets.

Blaine entered the music shop with a skip in his step. He had secured an apartment, and he wanted to take Kurt to see it later. Things were really starting to come together. When he awoke this morning he found himself looking up at Kurt, something he had dreamed of for the past four years.

He rifled through the records, searching for one in particular. It would be the anniversary of Kurt's mother's death next week, Blaine used to take his guitar and sing one of her favorite songs while they visited the cemetery together. But it had to be something really special this time. His fingers closed around the thin cardboard and he let out a triumphant sound as he found it: 'Yours' by Vera Lynn. Kurt said that his mom used to love singing it, because her mother had taught it to her. It seemed perfect; he just hoped Kurt still didn't mind him going with him. His phone vibrated, he fished it out of his pocket, grinning at the picture of Kurt showing on the screen.

"Hi."

"Hey, so I just finished having coffee with Brett and there was no flinging of cutlery or looks that could kill so I think it went well. Care to celebrate?" Kurt's voice sounded light and carefree, just the way Blaine liked it.

"Sure, I was thinking we could go see my new apartment this afternoon if you want?" Blaine balanced the phone on his shoulder while he handed over the record and found his wallet to pay for it.

"Sounds good! Where are you? I'll come meet you."

"I need to pop back to the hotel, I'm only five minutes away. Meet me back there?" Blaine took his change and the shopping bag and left the store making his way back to his hotel.

"Sure, see you in ten, bye!" Kurt hung up and Blaine stuffed the phone back in his jean pocket. He pushed open the lobby doors and approached the desk. A tall blonde woman turned her attention to him.

"Hi, Anderson, room 26, any messages?" He checked his watch while she turned away to check.

"Yes, Sir. Your Mother called six times. She asks that you call her back immediately." Blaine grimaced and took the slip of paper with the details on. He thanked the woman and went up to his room.

As soon as he was through the door he crumpled the messages up and threw them in the trash. He had no desire whatsoever to speak to his mother. He had far more important things to do today.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hi guys, so here is the new chapter, thankfully not such a long wait this time! Thanks again to my lovely beta leftrightbrain. Enjoy!**

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Sunday found Blaine snuggled up to Kurt on the couch watching a home improvement show. Kurt shifted slightly, unfolding his right leg from under him while keeping up a running commentary about the design flaws.

Blaine was in a haze of comfort when Kurt went quiet. Blaine raised his head only to be shushed by Kurt's finger on his lips. He finally tuned in and heard a key turning in the lock, he sat up and became more alert. The door swung open with a load thud, followed by a familiar woman's voice calling out.

"Hummel, you'd better be decent! I am not dragging this luggage one more step." Kurt rolled his eyes affectionately and stood to help Mercedes through the door. Blaine ran a hand over his hair in an attempt to make sure it wasn't completely unruly. A nervous knot had settled in his stomach as he listened to Kurt argue light-heartedly with his friend.

"Not that you aren't always welcome 'Cedes, but is there any reason you're here with possibly _the_ heaviest suitcase known to man?" Kurt hauled the purple and lime green monstrosity into the living room, flashing a quick smile at Blaine as he turned to hug his friend.

"Best friend privileges. You've been too quiet recently, so I thought I'd come make sure you aren't holed up with a room full of unfinished, but arguably fabulous designs – again!" She squeezed Kurt tightly.

"I may be responsible for that." Blaine stood, smoothing his clothes. Mercedes, obviously noticing him for the first time, raised her eyebrows so high Blaine thought they might disappear into her hairline. She ran a critical eye over Blaine, crossed her arms and pivoted to Kurt, who held his hands up and took a step back.

"You have been holding out on me, Boo." She jabbed an accusatory finger in Kurt's direction and continued." The only reason he's -" She jabbed a thumb at Blaine. "- still breathing is because I trust you and I know you're going to fill me in...now."

There was a threatening tone to her voice that made Blaine shiver. He thought Kurt must be made of iron to not be shaking in his high-end boots. Kurt simply cocked an eyebrow and placed an alabaster hand on his hip. He turned to face Blaine, expression softening considerably.

"Make yourself comfortable, I'm going to get Mercedes settled in." He once again rolled his ocean deep eyes fondly and heaved the over-size suitcase into the bedroom, followed closely by a very suspicious looking Mercedes. Blaine slumped back into the sofa, now thoroughly awake and a little disgruntled that his quiet evening with Kurt had been derailed.

Kurt dropped the luggage unceremoniously next to the bed and spun around to Mercedes. He let out a resigned sigh.

"Close the door, I'm going to give you the short version. I am not hiding anything, but my boyfriend is sitting out there by himself, probably biting his nails into oblivion." He held a finger up to silence his friend when she tried to interrupt at the mention of 'boyfriend'.

"Get comfy, don't speak." Kurt folded his slender legs beneath him as Mercedes sat against the headboard, sarcastically zipping her lips. Kurt started talking, trying to compress the story as much as possible, holding his hand up every time she looked like she was about to speak. A myriad of expressions crossed Mercedes' beautiful face.

When Kurt finally stopped talking he was attacked with a warm, almost motherly hug, not the berating he had expected. He wrapped his arms firmly around her, inhaling the faint smell of J'Adore and what smelled suspiciously like bagels. He had _really_ missed his friend.

Back in the living room, Blaine was now spread-eagled on the sofa, flicking through the channels. His left leg was flung on the back rest, his arm tucked under his head, playing absently with the curls at the base of his neck. His nervousness had long disappeared, replaced with boredom, when the click of the bedroom door jolted Blaine out of his stupor. He dangled his head awkwardly off the arm of the settee to see who had just vacated the bedroom. He found himself looking at an upside down Kurt, who was rather amused by the sight.

"I know I said make yourself comfortable, but this is a little extreme." The corner of his lips twitched with suppressed laughter as Blaine righted himself ungracefully.

"So, how bad is it? Is Mercedes going to come out here shaking her weave and threatening bodily harm?" He smiled to try and show Kurt he wasn't as nervous as he really felt. This was futile, however, as Kurt approached Blaine and ran a comforting hand through the rumpled curls.

"Blaine, she hasn't had a weave since college – and she's not angry, worried possibly, but she just wants to make sure I'm not going to get hurt." Blaine's heart sank a little at just the knowledge that he had caused enough damage previously that anyone could think he would willingly hurt Kurt again. The old feelings of inadequacy, regret and remorse flooded his system. A soft hand gently turned his head so he was looking directly at Kurt.

"Hey, I know that look. Stop it. It's all in the past, I know the full story now, and you have nothing to feel bad about. I know you won't leave. I trust you, Blaine... OK?" Kurt's face was set determinately, unflinchingly watching Blaine, who brought his honeyed eyes up to meet Kurt's. The sincerity he found there filled him with much warmer feelings. Kurt trusted him. That alone lifted his mood.

He leaned over, catching Kurt's lips in a gentle kiss before tilting his head and deepening it. He ran his tongue lightly along Kurt's bottom lip, moaning quietly as his boyfriend's mouth opened for him. A firm hand cupped the back of his neck, pulling him closer. Kurt shuffled slightly awkwardly until he was sitting in Blaine's lap, granting him access to much more skin. Blaine's head fell back while Kurt kissed a feather light trail down the column of his neck.

"Don't you boys think I saw enough of this in school?" Kurt pulled off Blaine with a faint 'pop', eyeing his friend exasperatedly.

"I am allowed to kiss my boyfriend in my own home 'Cedes!" Kurt kept his hands pressed against Blaine's chest, heat radiating between them.

"You can get your mack on in a minute, I just wanted a drink." She was still watching Blaine somewhat apprehensively, but the venom from earlier had left her voice. They listened to her move around the kitchen, all the while Kurt whispered into Blaine's ear. Blaine felt himself flush red at Kurt's words, knowing Mercedes was only a room away.

He tried to send a pointed look at Kurt, but he just received a smouldering look in return, and damn if Kurt wasn't ridiculously sexy like that. He attempted to remain semi-coherent as Mercedes bade them goodnight, gently closing the door behind her.

Kurt instantly re – attached himself to Blaine's jaw, his fingers smoothly working their way under the sleeve of his t-shirt. A gasp escaped Blaine's parted lips while he held onto Kurt's hips in desperation. God he had missed this. It had taken him a long time to get used to the idea of ever being intimate with someone after the attack. Being with Kurt just felt right, he didn't feel dirty or used or broken. He just felt complete.

He was distracted from Kurt's attentions by Kurt's phone, which was currently doing a very good Barbra Streisand impression. Kurt rested his forehead against Blaine's shoulder, trying to calm his breathing before reaching for his phone. It went quiet almost the minute he touched it and a little symbol appeared in the top left hand corner indicating he had a message. Blaine rubbed little semi-circles into Kurt's hip with his thumbs while Kurt listened to the message. His face turned from surprised to confused to annoyed in record time. He met Blaine's concerned gaze before turning the phone on loudspeaker and replaying the message.

"_Hello, Kurt is it?_ _I assume I have the correct number. If Blaine is with you would you ask him to stop being so churlish and answer my calls. I wish to speak with him, honestly, you'd think he was a child again. I shall be leaving for Washington on Tuesday, and I'd really rather not prolong this. He knows my number." _

The automated voice cut in, ending Blaine's mother's message, but Blaine wasn't paying attention, he looked up at Kurt incredulously.

"She is unbelievable." He shook his head as if trying to dislodge the message from his brain.

"Do I even want to know how she got my number?" Kurt scanned Blaine's tan face carefully, the relaxed atmosphere from before having been sapped by one of the smallest women Kurt knew... and she wasn't even here. Blaine snorted quietly.

"Probably not. What doesn't she get? I don't want to speak to her." Blaine's cheeks reddened slightly with his rising anger. Kurt waited a moment before speaking again, taking Blaine's warm hand and caressing it calmly.

"What do you want to do? Can I help?" Blaine flashed a look of gratitude to Kurt in response.

"I don't know. I don't want to deal with her right now." Blaine caught the look Kurt was sending him. "I know, just not tonight OK?"

Blaine made a very convincing case. With his tongue. On Kurt's neck.


	14. Chapter 14

"Hi Belinda is my Mom there?"

"Blaine! Thank God, you have no idea how much grief she's given me. Hold on I'll put you through." Blaine thought he had a pretty good idea, but remained silent while she connected him.

"Blaine! Really, it's about time. I've tried ringing you countless times. You can be so irresponsible sometimes..." Blaine didn't even try to get a word in edgeways, instead he settled onto his new red, Kurt approved sofa and sipped his coffee.

"...Anyway. I've decided to take control of the business, I've spoken to... and after some persuasion he came to agree with me." It took Blaine a moment to process what his Mother had just said.

"Wait, you want to take over dad's business?"

"Yes Blaine and before you get defensive your Father included a clause for precisely this situation." Blaine sat up straighter, the condescending tone his Mother was using doing nothing to calm him.

"That clause only applies if I am physically or mentally incapable of acting as head of the company, you know that. Besides ... controls most of it anyway." He heard his Mother sigh in what was clearly meant to be a sign of patience.

"Blaine, taking into consideration how your life has been for the last few years it's hardly surprising you're making...ahh...unusual decisions. I feel you need some time away from the stress the company can bring." Hot anger flared in Blaine's chest, he stood and began pacing around the box filled apartment, not taking notice of the coffee slopping out of his mug onto the hardwood floors.

"What the Hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, given the situation a few years ago and how you've handled it, your sudden move and string of frankly baffling decisions recently, I don't feel you're up to the job of managing such a large company." Her tone was simple, blunt, to the point. Blaine felt like he'd been punched.

"How do you – "

"Oh please Blaine, I may not have seen your Father very often, but we did talk. When you take into account that you never saw anyone for your problems back then; and your recent relationship with that boy – really, I thought you were done with all that - I really had no choice." Blaine noticed he'd been stood stock still for a while now, but couldn't bring himself to move. His brain felt like it had been repeatedly mashed against a wall.

"Mother, I'm gay, that isn't something that's going to change. Kurt is not going away, I never should have left him before. It's because of you and Dad that I've made bad decisions. Keep Kurt out of this. I can't believe Dad told you. He – he promised he wouldn't"

"Blaine, please try to focus. I need you to come into the office to sign some papers. And I need you to do it in the next two days." Blaine's brain was trying desperately to keep up.

"No, Mom. This is not the kind of thing you can just throw at me last minute and expect me to go along with, I need some time to think this through. I'll call you back." He hung up without waiting for a response. His fingers dialled Kurt on auto-pilot.

"Hey you." Kurt's voice was warm, so much warmer than his Mother's had been. Just the sound of it left Blaine speechless.

"Blaine? Honey, you're scaring me."

"Kurt?" Blaine's voice was quiet and vulnerable.

"Yes Blaine?"

"My Mom knows. Everything. Dad told her everything. She wants the business." Blaine's voice gave out on the last word. Panic flooded Kurt's chest.

"OK, are you at your new place or the hotel?" Kurt was already gathering his things.

"Apartment."

"Okay, I'm on my way...and Blaine?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you." Kurt waited with bated breath. This was far from the first time they had spoken those words to one another, but he meant it and Blaine really needed to know it.

"I love you too."

Kurt sat on Blaine's sofa, neither one was talking. Having heard most of what Blaine's mother had said he knew if he pushed Blaine to much he'd just clam up, so he sat trying desperately not to wring his hands. Blaine turned his head to look at Kurt; a single tear worked a shiny path over his cheekbones. Kurt reached over, cupping his face and using his thumb to wipe away the tear gently. Blaine's eyes flickered shut momentarily.

"I just don't get why she's doing this. It's not like she needs the money." His forlorn gaze broke Kurt's heart.

"She's just being vindictive, she doesn't like what you want to do with your life and she doesn't like me. That's all this is." He ran a hand methodically up and down Blaine's back, holding him close. Blaine sniffed and ran a hand through his now thoroughly ruffled curls.

"Don't listen to her, you don't need the money either. You didn't want the business to begin with. This is a chance for you to start new. Do what YOU want to do." Kurt lifted Blaine's face with a finger under his chin.

"OK?" He watched Blaine nod, noting the tears had stopped and pressed a small, sweet kiss to his lips.

"I still have you...right?" The hope and helplessness in his face was shocking to Kurt.

"Of course you do. I love you Blaine, always have, always will." Blaine's face lit up, a smile gracing his features for the first time in hours.

"I love you too Kurt. I really do." Kurt kissed his forehead tenderly, pulling him close so he could lay on his chest.

Blaine left for work at around ten the next day, Kurt having slept on the sofa. Kurt had left at the same time, calling home so he could get changed and call Caryn to say he wouldn't be in the boutique today. He got a cab when he went out, knowing he only had limited time.

When the cab pulled up outside the hotel that his various connections had assured him Marissa would be at, he paid the driver and stood looking up at the building for a minute. Was he really going to do this? The short answer was yes. He loved Blaine. Blaine was hurting. The equation was simple for him. So he took a deep breath and walked through the large wooden doors showing far more confidence than he actually felt.

He marched straight up to the desk, a small dark woman turned her attention to him.

"Good Morning, I'm Kurt Hummel, I'm here to see Mrs Anderson." Kurt drew himself up to his full height.

"Is she expecting you Sir?" The woman, Narina her tag said, smiled tightly, probably having already felt Marissa's wrath. 'She will be' Kurt thought. He cleared his throat before speaking aloud.

"Not exactly, but she'll come down, trust me." Narina looked apprehensive but picked up the phone regardless.

"Hello Mrs Anderson this is reception, we have a gentleman asking to see you." She listened for a few moments.

"He's quite insistent Ma'am. Yes, he says his name's Kurt Hummel. Okay, I'll tell him, Thank you." She replaced the receiver looking utterly perplexed.

"She's on her way down."

Kurt waited patiently, for the first time in his life he didn't feel the slightest bit apprehensive about seeing one of Blaine's parents. The elevator dinged open and Marissa stepped out closely followed by her assistant. She cast a judging eye over Kurt and walked towards him. She stuck a petite hand out.

"Hello Kurt."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N Hi guys, I know it's bbeen a while again but with my new job and all I think it's going to be once a month or so that I'm updating. Any way hope you like it :) Also guys there is a new tumblr for this fic url is stnc . tumblr . net minus the spaces obvs.  
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Marissa looked at Kurt critically, taking in every aspect of his appearance. Kurt held out his hand, trying to keep this as civil as possible.

"Mrs. Anderson." She ignored his hand with a faint smirk. Kurt gritted his teeth.

"I'd like a word with you. Perhaps you'd like to go somewhere more private?"

"I think right here is just fine, Kurt. Besides, I don't have much time, so I hope whatever this is won't take long." Kurt was getting angrier by the second; there was just something about this woman that really riled him up.

"Okay, well, primarily I am here to see if there is any way you would reconsider your decision to take over Mr Anderson's company?" Marissa chuckled dryly.

"No, there isn't, and this is a perfect example of why I'm doing it. Blaine is incapable of fighting his own battles. He has to send well, you, in to speak to his own mother." Kurt realized that his hopes of civility were in vain, and decided to match her barb for barb instead.

"First of all Blaine is more than capable of fighting his own battles. Your son is strong in ways you couldn't even comprehend. Secondly, he doesn't know I'm here, so before you go throwing around accusations, make sure they're aimed at the right person." Kurt's expression had hardened to a resolute, bitchy facade, and he wasn't about to back down now.

"Ah, I see. So you aren't just helping him ruin his life, you're trying to run his life and alienate his family too. Well you did a good enough job of that when you made him like you." Kurt's blood ran cold, his eyebrows nearly disappearing into his hairline. When he spoke again his voice was low, through gritted teeth.

"What is that supposed to mean?" At this point the receptionist seems to realize this encounter could get out of hand.

"Perhaps Mr Hummel and yourself would like to go somewhere more private?" Marissa shot her a withering look, causing the girl to immediately scurry away.

"It means that if it hadn't been for you, Blaine might have settled down with a proper family by now. Perhaps he wouldn't have gotten himself beaten up. He would have turned out normal." Marissa's face was rather red by this point; she was slowly losing composure. Kurt squared his shoulders and jutted his chin out just so.

"Blaine is doing just fine for himself. Any mother who cared enough to really see him for who he is would know that. Being gay does not make your son less of a man, and he would have been far better off if he had stayed with me. I would have shown him love and compassion, not contempt and shame. And just so you know you can't turn a person gay. They're born that way. Whether you like it or not, Blaine's gay, and he deserves a mom who will love him unconditionally." Marissa opened her mouth to reply, but Kurt had already begun walking to the exit.

When Kurt left the hotel he needed to blow off some steam, so he decided to walk to Blaine's work, which was only three blocks away. He walked briskly, not paying any attention to anything around him. Ordinarily, even after living in New York for a while, Kurt loved to take in his surroundings when he was out and about. There was always something interesting to see. Today however, he was lost in his own head. How could a parent be so unaccepting, how could she not see how lucky she was to have Blaine? With each step, Kurt felt more blessed for the relationship he had with his Dad and Carole. He rounded the corner and headed straight for the music shop, as he got closer he could see Blaine talking to a customer, he was smiling brightly and gesturing with his arms in that typically Blaine way. Kurt's heart warmed at the sight, he knew in that moment that he'd made the right decision in letting Blaine back into his life.

Kurt entered the modest shop and held the door for the customer Blaine had just finished helping. Blaine threw Kurt a toothy grin.

"Hey!" He walked around the counter and hugged Kurt tightly.

"Hi." Kurt held Blaine close, soaking in his scent and warmth. They broke apart, smiling at each other.

"Um, not that I'm not happy to see you, but aren't you supposed to be at work?" Kurt went quiet for a moment, still holding onto Blaine's arms.

"I went to see your mother." Kurt wrinkled his nose as if the word left a bad taste in his mouth.

"Oo-kay... because?" Blaine had furrowed his brow slightly. He wasn't worried about what Kurt might have said to his Mom, but he knew only too well what she could be like.

"Because you were upset and hurting and she needed to realize what an ass she's being." Kurt huffed and folded his arms, looking directly at Blaine.

"And I bet that went down nicely."

"Hmm, not exactly. Let's just say your Mother got a few choice words thrown at her. She probably hates me even more now."

Blaine was still frowning somewhat. "Hey, what's up?" Kurt stepped closer in an attempt to soothe Blaine.

"I just... I'm capable of sorting these things out myself, Kurt. I dread to think what she said to you. I don't need you to rescue me. I'm not broken." Kurt took a step back, surprised at Blaine's reaction. What was it Marissa had said? _You're trying to run his life._ It all hit a little too close to home.

"I didn't mean to – I know you can. I was trying to help."

"I know you were, but, Kurt, I come from a family where we sort our own problems out. Where it shows weakness to have someone do that for you." He watched Kurt cross his arms and back away more. A pang of guilt shot through him. He didn't want to argue with Kurt.

"Yes, and look where that got you. You of all people should know it isn't a weakness to accept help. You are hurting because you didn't ask for help, Blaine, and despite what your mother thinks I will be here for you, even if it means pissing you off sometimes." Kurt was flushed and pouting, he wouldn't even look at Blaine now. There was a tense silence, one of very few that had ever occurred between them. Enough time passed for Blaine to adopt his best puppy dog look. He took Kurt's hand, wrapping an arm around his waist. He rested his chin on Kurt's shoulder and spoke quietly into his ear.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I just wish you'd spoken to me about it first." Kurt pulled back enough to look, assessing Blaine's hazel-green eyes.

"I know you didn't, but sometimes you need to let people help you, OK? What time do you finish?"

"Um, four, why?" Blaine studied Kurt's expression, looking for any indication as to what he was thinking.

"Come to my house, I think we both deserve a relaxing night. Okay?" Blaine nodded and kissed Kurt tenderly goodbye.

Blaine arrived at Kurt's around five, having stopped at a cute little craft store to pick up a few things for Kurt. Lingering outside for a moment, he could hear music filtering under the door. He knew that sound. Kurt was playing piano. Blaine shut his eyes to fully enjoy the music, before realizing he would better appreciate it if he was on the other side of the door. He turned the knob and entered the apartment as quietly as he could, not wanting to disturb Kurt, He toed off his shoes and padded through the hall into the living room. Kurt was perched on a stool, eyes shut as he felt every note he played. Blaine seemed to recall the song; it was one Kurt used to play back in college, one of his own creations if he wasn't very much mistaken.

Blaine remained where he was, just watching Kurt, until the song ended. Kurt stretched and turned around, a smile spreading across his face when he noticed Blaine.

"Hey you," Blaine walked over and kissed Kurt tenderly. "I brought something for you," he said, handing Kurt the bag.

"I just figured something in there might inspire you." Kurt pulled out the array of ribbons, fabric and buttons Blaine had picked out with Kurt in mind.

"They're gorgeous Blaine, but you inspire me more, look." Kurt grabbed his sketch book and began flipping through to almost the last page, turning the book around so Blaine could see. Kurt had designed an outfit. A shorter than average suede jacket, black adorned with intricate red stitching and studs along the collar. Underneath was a white, slightly sheer shirt tucked into deep black jeans, rolled up to ankle level showing off burgundy wingtips. A simple silver chain was attached to the right shoe and a matching multi-chain brooch was fixed near the zipper of the jacket. Blaine took in all the detail with awe, including the side notes about fabrics and accessories around the edges of the page. He looked up at Kurt, who actually looked nervous as he awaited Blaine's response.

"Kurt, this – this is incredible. You're amazing." Kurt beamed and relaxed, pointing out different sections.

"So basically the jacket is the part of your personality that really inspired me. It's the part of you where you're tough, or more that's how you'd like people to see you, but as there are so many layers to that I added the stitching, which is red for obvious reasons. The shirt adds a little vulnerability to the whole thing, because I think you're most beautiful when you're vulnerable. Kind of because you only show that when you have no other choice and usually around me. I'm not gonna lie the jeans are skinny because you look hot in them, but I kept them turned up, I know you prefer them that way. The chain accessories kind of symbolize to me the way you keep yourself chained, but they are optional. Wingtips of course are a Blaine style staple, so I just shook them up a bit."

Kurt stopped talking long enough to look at Blaine, who was staring at Kurt with eyes filled with love.

"You did this for me." It wasn't a question; it was more as though Blaine was trying to wrap his head around it.

"Of course I did, I was having trouble with a client's design, so I thought I'd go back to basics, just draw from my own inspiration. Turns out, that was you. This is the result."

Blaine just smiled at Kurt and leaned up to capture his lips in a deep, perfect kiss. He savored every sensation, hardly believing he was getting a second chance with this man. He felt Kurt smile into the kiss and pulled him closer, so he was practically sitting on Blaine's knee. Kurt ran his tongue along Blaine's lower lip, earning him entrance to Blaine's mouth. A quiet moan slipped from Blaine's lips and the temperature in the room heightened considerably.

Suddenly there were hands everywhere, pulling at clothes, running through hair, feeling every single inch of skin. Not wasting a second. Kurt pushed Blaine back onto the sofa, climbing over until he was straddling his hips.

He moved his lips slowly, teasingly down the column of Blaine's neck, using his memory to tell him where felt best for Blaine. Blaine's hands roamed across Kurt's bare back, committing to memory every muscle, every curve. Kurt reached Blaine's chest and ran his finger tips down both Blaine's sides while he kissed and nipped at the tan skin beneath his lips. He leaned back a little to take in the sight before him. Blaine was all toned muscle, nipped in waist, and smatterings of dark curly hair. Kurt traced the trail of hair that disappeared into Blaine's jeans with his index finger, listening closely to the noises leaving Blaine as he writhed beneath Kurt.

Out of nowhere Blaine grabbed Kurt's hips and flipped them over. He pinned Kurt's hands above his head and nuzzled at his neck and shoulders, dropping butterfly kisses all over. He took one of Kurt's nipples into his mouth, gently sucking it then letting go and moving onto the other one. Just listening to Kurt and worshiping the body in front of him was enough for Blaine, right now. He released Kurt's hands and ran a single finger along the skin just above Kurt's Jeans before popping open the perfectly round metal button and pushing at the denim almost urgently. Kurt raised his hips so Blaine could remove his jeans easier, kicking off his socks. He grabbed Blaine's t-shirt and rolled it up and over Blaine's head, throwing it over the back of the sofa. The rest of their clothes followed in quick succession until they were pressed against each other, hard and aching. Their breathing filled the room creating a hot, lust filled atmosphere. This wasn't the first time they had done this, but everything felt new and so raw.

Kurt's heart expanded at the sight of Blaine, so willing to take this step with him despite everything he had been through. He looked into those amber eyes, the love and caring he found there nearly overwhelming him. Instead of tearing up, he just kissed any part of Blaine he could reach. Blaine sighed softly and traced his fingers over Kurt's lightly toned stomach, his hand coming to rest on his lower abdomen.

"There was only ever you." Kurt's voice broke the silence. "Brett and I, we... you know we did stuff, but never..." Kurt trailed off with a soft sigh. Blaine just kissed him.

"I don't care what you've done in the time we were apart. I love you, you love me. That's all I need to know. This is right." Kurt smiled, happiness shining through every pore of his being. He didn't need to question Blaine to know the same was true in reverse. They were right for each other. They moved together in perfect synch, feeling every heartbeat between them. Blaine sat Kurt up, able to communicate with a look exactly what he wanted. Kurt left him temporarily to get lube, not wanting to hurt Blaine.

When he returned Blaine was waiting, beaming up at Kurt like he was the whole world to him. He sat next to Blaine and flipped the lid open, pouring just the right amount of the slippery substance onto his fingers, encouraging Blaine to straddle him and reaching round to begin preparing him. He worked Blaine open, listening to every sound dropped from those gorgeous lips to direct him. When Blaine began trying to fuck himself on Kurt's fingers, Kurt figured he was ready.

He slid his fingers out of Blaine, who instantly positioned himself over Kurt's hard cock. They looked into each other's eyes and Blaine pushed himself down on Kurt, stilling when Kurt was fully buried inside him. He let his eyes fall closed for a few seconds, just taking in the surreal emotions rushing around his body. The last time someone had done this to him he had been scared and broken; this couldn't be more different. He had never felt safer than when he was with Kurt.

He began to move up and down, bracing himself by placing his hands on Kurt's shoulders. Every now and then Kurt placed sporadic kisses along the length of Blaine's neck, eliciting small moans and whimpers. Kurt began snapping his hips up to meet Blaine's movements, the heat pooling in his stomach. He pulled Blaine close and whispered in his ear.

"I'm so close baby." Blaine sped up, ignoring the protesting pains in his legs from so much exertion. When Kurt's head fell back onto the sofa and his hips stuttered to a languid stop Blaine wrapped a hand around his own cock and with a few frantic pulls he was right there with Kurt, spurting come between them both. His head rested in the crook of Kurt's neck while they both came down. Kurt pressed a few chaste kisses to Blaine's head before Blaine pulled off Kurt carefully, knowing how overly sensitive he was. He collapsed beside Kurt, kissing his shoulder before going limp, his limbs feeling heavy and over used.

Kurt turned his head to face Blaine, smiling happily.

"I love you, you know?" Blaine looked through his eyelashes at his boyfriend.

"I know, I love you too."


	16. Chapter 16

Blaine awoke the next day with a warm weight pressed into his side. He glanced down to find Kurt nuzzled into his side, his left arm flung over Blaine's waist and his leg wrapped round Blaine's own. He smiled as his chest filled with happiness. For the first time since the attack four and a half years ago Blaine could really picture a positive future for himself. He felt Kurt stir against him, he laid as still as possible in case Kurt wanted to sleep some more. Kurt raised his head and peered drowsily up at Blaine, his light chestnut hair was ruffled and his eyes were heavy with sleep, but he smiled and Blaine thought there was no better way to wake up.

"mmm... Morning" Blaine pressed a gentle kiss to Kurt's nose before replying.

"Morning, Sleep well?"

"Not bad." Kurt placed a hand on Blaine's chest, tracing delicate spirals amongst the dark hair adorning gently toned muscles. Blaine closed his eyes and savoured the feeling of just being here with Kurt.

"I really hate to move, but my Dad's going to be here in a couple of hours." He made to get up but was wrestled back to the mattress by strong tan arms. He laughed and pulled Blaine up to bring him level with his own face. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment before Blaine ducked his head to capture Kurt in a kiss he hoped translated everything he was feeling. Kurt kissed him back threading his long fingers through the thick hair at the nape of his neck.

After a few blissful minutes Blaine pulled away and rested in his side facing Kurt.

"Do you want me to go?" Kurt furrowed his brow.

"Why on earth would I want you to go?" He watched Blaine shrug a shoulder.

"Might make it easier for when your Dad gets here. I don't want to cause problems for you – any more than I already have."

Something clicked in Kurt's brain, he realised that accepting Blaine and forgiving him wasn't enough. Blaine had to forgive himself and he would only do that in his own time, Kurt couldn't force it. He needed to realise he was good enough once and despite everything to Kurt he always would be.

"Don't be silly, if you're okay with it I'd like you to stay, we're going out for lunch and I'd love for you to join us." Blaine looked apprehensive but smiled.

"Of course I'll come with you, its just..." he trailed off, not meeting Kurt's concerned gaze.

"you're worried Dad's going to hate you?" A small nod confirmed Kurt's thoughts. Kurt pushed himself up so he was sitting supported by the dark leather studded headboard.

"Blaine I'm fairly certain my Dad doesn't have the capacity to hate anyone. He doesn't like people sure, but hate? He trusts me, and my decisions. Give him time he'll trust you too." With that Kurt kissed Blaine and left him on the bed, sauntering to the bathroom.

Blaine sat stiffly on the sofa tugging nervously at his shirt cuffs. He hadn't been this nervous since finding Kurt again. Kurt was fixing a bright jewelled pin to his lapel just as there was a strong knock at the door. He swept a hand over his carefully styled hair one last time and went to answer the door; shooting a quick reassuring smile at Blaine.

Blaine got to his feet slowly, listening to Burt greet his son. There was a pause and then both men walked into the living room. Burt fixed Blaine with a steady assessing gaze and held his hand out formally. They shook hands, Blaine trying to not to show just how nervous he was.

At one time Burt would have hugged him like a son, laughing and joking. Now Blaine realised just how much work he had to do to rebuild the trust lost.

"Hello Mr Hummel, I hope you don't mind me joining you today." Blaine attempted a smile while Burt continued to look him up and down. Kurt nudged his father in the side.

"Oh, yeah well. would'a been nice to have a little warning. About any of this but you're welcome."

Kurt rolled his eyes but moved round his Dad and linked his arm through Blaine's.

"Shall we go?" Burt eyed their linked arms for a second before turning towards the door.

"Am I going to find our where we're going this time?" he watched Kurt lock the apartment.

"Dad you know the rules, I choose a place to eat, you choose what we do after." Burt made a noise sounding suspiciously like 'Humpf'.

As they entered the tiny restaurant they were instantly greeted by a smiley blonde woman who instantly, without a moments thought pulled Kurt in for a hug. While Kurt chatted animatedly with the woman, Blaine took in the many details. Warm yellow fairy lights draped around the windows and through the flowering bushes cast an almost magical glow over the wooden polished tables. They were shown to a table in a quiet corner, provided with menus and left alone, Burt smiled at Kurt, glad at the progress he'd made in this city.

"Okay, Dad third page, there's burgers, burritos and salads – no you can't have the deluxe. Blaine, page one." Burt grumbled, having been denied exactly what he was about to order Blaine just grinned, it almost felt like it used to, it almost felt like normal.

After their meal Burt took them, with a little guidance from Kurt and Blaine, to a showing of 1956's fashion that Carol had found, Kurt chose not to tell his dad that he had visited it when it opened a couple of weeks prior, but ooh'd and ahh'd at the styles and spoke of the suit elements he could incorporate into his own designs at the boutique. While Kurt perused the various exhibits Burt and Blaine sat chatting about sports until a lull in the conversation brought around a more serious tone.

"I need you to look after my boy Blaine. I saw how he was when you left and it wasn't pretty. I need to know you're gonna stick around this time." He watched Blaine for a moment, taking in the slight slump to his shoulders, the lines round his eyes.

"He's putting his heart on the line here. I know he must have a hell of a reason for trusting you again, and I trust his judgement. I don't want to have to pick up the pieces again."

Blaine raised his head to look Burt squarely in the eye.

"Things are different now Mr Hummel, I'm grateful for Kurt's understanding, but I'm here to stay – as long as Kurt will have me. I never stopped loving your son and I doubt I ever will. I just want to make things right with him. I know you will but you don't have to worry sir, I'll look after Kurt." He held Burt's gaze until he spoke again.

"I'm glad to hear you say that kid. Now you're a part of Kurt's life again and I want to hear from both of you from time to time OK? And what have I told you about calling me Mr Hummel?."

Blaine smiled and nodded, He wanted things to be okay with Kurt's dad, He knew just how much they meant to each other.


	17. Chapter 17

Hi guys, I know it's been a long, long time again. A case of writers block and 12 hour days has made it difficult. But here it is... don't forget this story has a tumblr where you'll find teasers and updates on my progress with the next chapter... the url is stnc . tumblr (obviously minus the spaces!).

Enjoy!

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A few days after spending the day with Burt, Blaine received a letter informing him that his father's company was nearing the end of the process to change hands; all it required was his signature. Rather than the anger or sadness he expected to feel, Blaine found he actually felt relief. He signed the papers and set them aside to return later. He rang Kurt and they laughed about it and though Kurt sounded wary, Blaine was happy. They could put it behind them and set about decorating Blaine's apartment. He'd moved in a few weeks prior, but having spent so much time at Kurt's he hadn't done much more than put his new furniture in the right rooms. Boxes still lined the walls, some unopened, others joyfully spilling their contents into the area around them. He thought he'd better get the furniture into place before attacking the many boxes.

He cranked the stereo and changed into grey sweatpants and a paint- daubed tank top ready to shift his heavy book shelves and sofa. Once these were where he wanted them he set about putting shelves up in the bedroom. Sweat trickled down his forehead into the thick eyebrows while he lifted the biggest and consequently heaviest shelf into position - just as the doorbell rang.

"One minute!" He yelled and heaved the almost white hunk of wood into place. Satisfied that it wasn't going anywhere he grabbed a towel and headed for the door. A bright smiling, suitably dressed down Kurt stood in the doorway clutching two polystyrene filled coffee cups and a canvas bag flung over one shoulder, which jangled mysteriously.

"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" The twinkle in Kurt's eyes practically had Blaine melting, as he stood to ones side to let Kurt in he wiped at his face with the towel. He definitely did not admire Kurt's hips as he entered the apartment. Nope, definitely not.

"Do I get to find out what's in the bag?" Kurt turned slowly on the spot, hungrily looking Blaine up and down, taking in the way the dark hair was plastered to his forearms, the way it dripped torturously down his clavicle before returning his gaze to honey coloured eyes.

"After coffee... and a kiss." He placed the coffees and bag on the table and moved toward his boyfriend, pulling Blaine to him with a hand placed on his neck and waist. He kissed him chastely, caressing the back of his neck with his elegant fingers. They looked at each other for a second before Kurt turned to grab the slowly cooling coffees, handing one to Blaine and turning to assess the room. Blaine watched him knowing better than to interrupt. Kurt revolved slowly on the spot, taking in every detail; he turned back to Blaine and pointed towards the other rooms.

"Can I?" Blaine gestured for him to go ahead, remaining where he was to cool down a little, he turned the stereo down a tad and heard Kurt muttering from the kitchen. Blaine chuckled and sat down, sipping his coffee. Before he knew it Kurt would reappear full of suggestions and generally change everything he had done so far.

Ten minutes later Kurt emerged and began rifling through the canvas bag he'd brought with him, taking out colour swatches.

"Come on part-timer, let's go sort out these rooms." Blaine took a last sip of his coffee and followed Kurt into the bathroom.

"Okay, so the suite is pretty new and inoffensive, so I think some muted colours to tone in with the silver taps and cabinet will do in here, which colour do you prefer?" Kurt flipped through his chart and showed Blaine a deep grey and a steel blue. Blaine grinned, gave Kurt a kiss on the cheek and pointed to the blue.

"The grey's too dark for me." Kurt held both up to the wall speculatively.

"Hmm, good choice Mr Anderson. There might be hope for you yet!" He shoved Blaine playfully and moved on to the bedroom.

"Okay, here you need a major move around. The placement of your bed is just wrong. If you put it against this wall instead you'll have much more room, the... um shelf is good though..." Kurt raised a questioning eyebrow at his boyfriend.

"Yeah I just got that one up as you got here, I have another, smaller one to put above it yet." Blaine grabbed his zip-up hoody, feeling cold now he wasn't moving heavy furniture around. Kurt nodded in agreement with this.

"Have you thought about colours in here? Your bedding is fairly generic being monochrome, so we could carry that through the whole room or we can inject a bit of colour." Blaine surveyed the room for a moment before answering.

"Keep it simple in here, there's red in the living room and I'm sure you'll have suggestions for the kitchen." Kurt knew Blaine was teasing him so he just pushed lightly at his arm and exited the room, his nose cast humorously in the air as he went. Blaine laughed and followed him. He was somewhat surprised when instead of going into the kitchen to assess more decor, Kurt flopped onto the settee instead, reaching out with grabby hands for Blaine to join him. Blaine settled next to him and instantly found his arms full of warm snuggly Kurt.

"Mmm, this is nice." Blaine buried his nose in Kurt's soft hair, inhaling deeply the smell of comfort, of home, of Kurt. Kurt murmured in agreement as his fingers walked their way under Blaine's tank top and dragged teasingly along the skin just above his waistband. He grinned, feeling Blaine's stomach muscles jump beneath his fingers.

"Kurt!" Blaine's hand tightened its grip on Kurt's side momentarily, flexing when Kurt began dropping feather light kisses along his stomach, stopping a second to nuzzle lightly in the dark curls smattered there before carrying on his path. Heat coursed through Blaine's body fast as fire, he arched into Kurt's touch as his boyfriend straddled him and latched onto his collarbone. Blaine slipped his hand under Kurt's shirt, grazing the skin beneath with calloused finger tips, his heart pounding violently turning his breathing into ragged pants under Kurt's ministrations. Kurt's tongue pressed and flicked against over-heated skin while his fingers worked on getting Blaine shirtless. He gave up, choosing instead to sit back a little, pulling Blaine with him as he dragged the tank top up over Blaine's tan torso and flinging it across the room and surging back in to kiss Blaine passionately. Blaine's tongue slid along Kurt's lip, begging entry, which Kurt granted hungrily pushing his fingers just beneath the waistband of Blaine's sweat pants, a loud groan escaped his boyfriend's throat and hips bucked up into the touch.

"Eager much?" Kurt practically gasped the teasing sentence against Blaine's lips, heat shooting up his spin at the muffled groan that answered him. He removed his hand form Blaine's waist and began undoing the three buttons on his own jeans, hoping to relieve some of the pressure against his straining cock; he fumbled for a few moments before the buttons popped open. He glanced up to find Blaine watching him through dark, lust filled eyes, he smirked at his boyfriend before shoving his hand roughly down Blaine's pants and taking a firm hold of the throbbing cock begging for attention. Blaine's eyes fluttered shut and he let his head fall back on the back of the sofa as Kurt began to stroke him slowly, almost torturously. Blaine brought his hand up to palm Kurt through his deep blue boxers, the other hand snaking around his waist as Kurt's breathing deepened. Kurt quickened his pace, with an added twist every few strokes causing Blaine to moan and push his hand inside Kurt's underwear and grasp hold of him. Pleasure coarsed through Kurt's veins, a high pitched groan tumbled from his lips. He leant his forehead against Blaine as they matched each others rhythm, breathing heavily, eyes locked onto Blaine's. He gripped Blaine's neck possessively as he felt the familiar tension low in his stomach, judging by the sweat dripping down Blaine's forehead he wasn't the only one who was close. One, two, three, four more strokes and Blaine's eyes clamped shut, come coating Kurt's hand and his one stomach. Kurt followed his euphoria within seconds, gasping out his boyfriends name as his neck snapped back in complete ecstasy.

They panted their way back to reality, drinking in the sight of each-other looking utterly debauched. A sly grin worked its way onto Blaine's face when Kurt began to disentangle himself, disorientated in his sated state. He collapsed next to Blaine on the sofa, trying to swat meekly at his now giggling lover.

"So... that shower; built for two?" He gave up swatting and looked at Blaine coquettishly. Blaine's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline and he nodded enthusiastically.

"Definitely."


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey guys, so here have an update sooner than expected! I'm so glad I got this one out so quickly! So angsty angst here, I hope you don't hate me too much. Thanks to my sister-in-law, Stacey, who has beta'd this for me on such short notice :)**

**Enjoy!**

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Blaine's alarm clock flashed red into the dark room.

03:08

Kurt's legs were tangled stubbornly with Blaine's, his head resting on the pillow just above Blaine's shoulder**. So**ft snores punctuated the silence along with the rustling of covers as Blaine tried and failed to roll over, his sleep warm hands pushed gently at his boyfriend in a **vain** attempt to move him. Bleary eyes inched open to inspect why he **couldn't** move, he rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand and gazed down, finally registering the warm dead weight of his sleeping boyfriend**. A **sweet smile graced his features, this was the first time Kurt had spent the night**. B**laine felt like a teenager again. All of a sudden the numbness in Blaine's left leg didn't matter**. He** pressed a kiss to Kurt's forehead, careful not to wake him, and closed his eyes already falling back into a peaceful sleep**. K**urt's phone had other ideas however**;** as it rang loudly causing Kurt to sit bolt upright, blinking confusedly**. H**e propped** himself** up, watching Kurt reach across for his phone**. H**e listened to the one sided conversation half - heartedly until Kurt's voice changed.

"Carol, calm down**. W**hat's happened**?" B**laine sat up, paying more attention now as Kurt's face drained of colour.

"Okay, put Finn on**." K**urt threw the cover off his legs and began awkwardly getting dressed while trying to hold onto his phon**e.** Blaine clambered gracelessly out of bed and dressed himself, still listening to the conversation.

"I'll get the next flight... yes... I'll text you with the details**." Kurt **hung up, briefly closing his eyes before turning to face Blaine**. B**laine saw the warning signs before Kurt even opened his mouth**. H**e crossed the room quickly, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend**. K**urt buried his head in Blaine's neck, finding the strength to keep it together and fly out to Ohio as soon as possible**. B**laine waited for Kurt's breathing to even out before speaking, however he hadn't even opened his mouth before Kurt started talking, his voice somewhat muffled by Blaine's neck.

"Dad's in hospital, another heart attack**. F**inn says he's in a medically induced coma at the **moment **and that he's stable for now**. C**arol's a wreck and I'm out here**." H**e trailed off** wide** **eyed; **wrenching himself from **Blaine's grip **and pulled his phone from his pocket**. H**e began typing something frantically into his phone **whilst **searching for the rest of his clothes, which had been strewn around the room unceremoniously the previous night.

"I have to get a flight, I need to be there, Carol isn't coping and Finn has his family to deal with**. I** need to go pick up some clothes, get a cab**. God! There's** so much to do..."

"Baby just stop... Kurt...Just one minute Kurt**..." B**laine tried to grab the phone from Kurt, but he **simply **continued babbling.

"...and I have to let Cora know so she can man the shop, cancel my appointments..."

"KURT**!" K**urt stopped mid word and stared at Blaine incredulously.

"You don't have to do this alone**. I**'m right here**. T**ake a minute, do one thing at a time**. Y**ou don't have to look after everyone else, Okay**?" K**urt nodded silently and handed Blaine his phone before sitting on the bed and putting his socks on**. Blaine** began making phone calls and arranging for things to be taken care of **whilst** they were in Ohio**. He put** the phone down after speaking to the airport and began **dialing** the number of a private cab company.

"Blaine?" He turned to look at Kurt**;** a single tear carved a track over his perfect ivory cheek.

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, this is what I'm here for**." K**urt nodded and padded over to the bathroom. Blaine watched him go, his heart breaking for him and resumed making phone calls.

Navigating through the sterile halls was kind of a blur to Kurt**;** the only solid entity now was Blaine, steadily by his side**. They** reached the right corridor and headed for the desk just as Finn called to them**. Kurt** span on the spot nearly yanking Blaine's arm off in the process.

"Finn how is he, what's his heart rate, what the hell happened**...?" F**inn held his hands up in defense at his brothers questioning onslaught.

"Woah! Kurt, calm down. He's stable at the moment. I wasn't there when it happened, Mom says she was in the kitchen and heard him fall while he was upstairs. She called the ambulance right away. They put him in a coma **a few** hours ago so his body could rest. Mom's in there now." **Ku**rt didn't wait for any more information, just tugged Blaine **along** to the room Finn **had** indicated, unwilling to let go of the only anchor he had right now. **The** door was propped open. **He** came to a halt in the doorway, fresh tears breaching his eyes at the sight of his big, hulk of a Dad once again motionless on a hospital bed. Carol was sleeping in the uncomfortable looking bedside chair, her hand still **laid** on the bed where she had obviously been holding **Burt's**. Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand before letting go so he could give them a little privacy, he went out in to the hall and slid into a chair opposite Burt's room.

Finn rounded **the **corner carrying two coffees and took the seat next to Blaine**;** offering one cup to him. Blaine took it gratefully and took the moment to really look at Finn. This was the first time he'd seen him in **barely **five years. **He had** lost weight - in a good way, he seemed calmer, not so clueless. Today he looked tired, probably due to stress.

"Thanks" he said, sipping the strong coffee.

"No problem. Thought you'd need it." Finn paused for a moment, letting the heat from the polystyrene cup warm his fingers.

"It's good to see you man. I'm glad you're here. Kurt's gonna need you." Blaine smiled tiredly.

" And I'm going to be here for him." Blaine looked Finn dead in the eye and returned the small nod he **received.** Carol stepped wearily out of Burt's room sending a small smile of greeting to her son and Blaine.

"Get over here, we've missed you Blaine**." Carol** enveloped Blaine in a tight hug. **H**e felt a lump form in his throat, but swallowed it down.

"I missed you too." **T**hey broke apart and Carol took the seat next to her son.

"I think Kurt could use you in there Honey, he's holding it together now, but I think it's more for my benefit." Blaine nodded and entered the too white room quietly. Kurt was perched on the edge of the chair, holding his Dad's hand, he noticed Blaine in the **doorway** and reached out his other hand towards him. Blaine picked up the other chair in the room** and** brought it to sit next to his boyfriend. They stayed quiet for a few minutes, Blaine observing Kurt until Kurt turned to him, tears beginning to fall.

"Hey, **shh...I'm** here." Blaine held out his arms, which Kurt leaned into willingly **as he** sobbed, speaking unidentifiable words. Blaine rested his chin on top of Kurt's fluffy chestnut hair and held him as close as the chairs permitted. He knew no words would help the pain Kurt was feeling. They sat like that until the arm of the chair started to hurt Kurt's side. He wiped his face dry and tried to compose himself before whispering a quick goodbye to his Dad and going out to Carol and Finn.

" **H**ey honey." **K**urt gave her a **tight-lipped** smile.

"What do you need Carol, is there anything I can do?" Blaine twined his hand with Kurt's. It was Finn who answered him.

"Mom needs to go home and grab some stuff, I'm gonna stay here, could you go with her? Then you guys can drop off your bags, get settled and come back in a few hours." Kurt looked a little stricken at having to leave his Dad so soon.

"That sounds like a good idea**; **we can get some rest and take over from you later today." He ran a thumb over Kurt's knuckles trying to soothe the worry now etched in his face.

"We'll have to get a cab; Finn drove here and while Kurt is on his insurance I don't think any of us is in a state to drive." **T**hey both agreed and said their go**odbye**s to Finn before heading out.

**B**etween getting Kurt settled and making sure both he and Carol had everything they needed and were **both** sound asleep upstairs, it had slipped Blaine's mind that he was back in a place he almost felt like he didn't deserve to be anymore. At one poin**t,** the **Humme**l household was as much of a home to him as it was to **Kurt. Burt**, Carol and Finn were his family too. **H**e looked around the kitchen, noting not much had changed; a few **knick-knacks** here and there, but nothing major.

He wandered cautiously into the family room. **M**emories hit him hard. Days spent yelling at the** TV** with Burt and Finn while Kurt read Vogue with Carol**. N**ights spent cuddled on the love seat just talking**. F**amily **Christmases** that welcomed Blaine with open arms. Talks of weddings, family** and the future** with **Burt, whilst** Kurt slept after prom. Tears stung his eyes when he thought how close he'd come to throwing all that away, how he could have had that all this time if he'd just been a little stronger. He thought of Burt lying there in hospital fighting for his life, how the strong man who accepted Blaine back into his son's life again so easily still might be taken from him. As he wiped a salty tear from his chee**k,** a photo frame caught his eye. **H**e moved closer and recognised the photograph easily. It was **one of him** **and Kurt laughing** in the back yard. **T**hey looked so carefree, happy.

"Dad must have put that there when he came home after visiting." Blaine jumped, having not heard Kurt come downstairs. He wiped hastily at his cheeks before facing him.

"It's not normally there?"

Kurt shook his head, and threaded his arms **around **Blaine's waist, placing a gentle kiss to the side of his neck.

**"No, not** for a while. I know he kept all the photos of us, but he didn't have them out. I think this is his way of accepting you fully into our lives once again. He always told me to try to move on, but not to let you go fully. As usual, he was right." Blaine's heart swelled at Kurt's words, he twisted round in his arms so he could look right into Kurt's stormy blue eyes.

"He is right. **I am** right here and I'm not going anywhere. You are my home Kurt. You and your family." Kurt's eyes switched between both of Blaine's.

"Our family." **Kurt** said simply and rested his forehead against Blaine's. They stayed like for a minute.

"I need **Advil**, can you wake Carol for me**? S**he'll want to come back to the hospital with us." Blaine nodded and extricated himself from his boyfriend**s'** arms to go wake **C**arol. When he reached her room**,** he found her curled up on Burt's side of the bed, clutching his pillow tightly. Blaine's chest constricted a little and tears threatened to flow again, but he pulled himself together and placed a hand gently on her shoulder.

"Carol...Carol?" She stirred a little and gingerly opened her eyes to look at Blaine a little confusedly.

"Blaine?" Carol's voice was thick with sleep.

"Hey, Kurt asked me to come wake you**. W**e're going back to the hospital when we've had something to eat." Blaine stood a little awkwardly having never **really** been inside this room of the house before.

"Mm'kay Honey, I'll see you downstairs." Blaine took his leave gratefully and met with most amazing smell, he entered the kitchen to find Kurt expertly balancing four **separate** pans with pancakes and different fillings in each pan. Blaine sidled up to **him placing** a small peck on his cheek.

"That smells delicious."

"Mmm, I just - needed to distract myself." Kurt turned the heat down and turned to face Blaine, leaning against the counter top.

"I'm going crazy Blaine. The most horrific things keep going through my head and unless I'm doing three things at once they just don't stop." Blaine hugged Kurt into his arms knowing this was only the beginning.

"Shhh, shh, Kurt... Kurt I know. You don't have to explain. Just deal with it however you can. **I am** right here. Always." Kurt sniffled into Blaine's shoulder and nodded weakly. They heard Carol's footsteps on the stairs so Kurt wiped his eyes and resumed cooking in an attempt at normalcy.

Fifteen minutes later**,** they were all trouping around the house collecting their things with full bellies. Blaine phoned another cab and did what he could to keep things as calm and normal as possible. He grabbed their bags and Carol's handbag (AKA her hospital survival kit) and stepped into the cab **with Kurt** and his **step-mom** mentally preparing himself so he could be at his best for Kurt. Whatever Kurt needed from him **he would be there, he vowed silently to himself**.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N Hi guys, so warning for some major sadness here. I have worked so hard on this and the next chapter, drawing on my own experiences of the last year. So I really hope you like it. **

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They spent most of the next three days by Burt's side. At first Blaine had tried staying in the waiting room, but was told in no uncertain terms to cut it out. Burt had shown little improvement, but the fact that he wasn't deteriorating was a good sign. Kurt and Carol kept up a dialog with Burt the whole time with minor contributions from Finn and Blaine; Finn confessed to Blaine that he felt weird talking to Burt when he didn't talk back. At the end of each day Blaine had to practically drag Kurt out of the hospital so he could get some sleep before repeating it all again the next day. Kurt grumbled that the hospital smell would be permanently embedded in his skin and buried his head in the crook of Blaine's neck more often than normal to compensate.

After a few more agonizing days Burt's doctor told them they were going to bring Burt out of his coma, but that he would have to wake up of his own accord. The longer he took to come round, the less chance there was of a full recovery. They sat in silence for a couple minutes; Kurt was staring at the bed, a hand covering his mouth.

"What if he doesn't wake up?" Kurt's words were muffled and almost inaudible. The silence stretched out over them all, Kurt's words not needing an answer. The doctor tucked Burt's notes back into the rack at the end of the bed and left the room quietly.

"I don't think I'd survive." Carol placed a hand on Kurt's knee, tears sliding down her face. Blaine took Kurt's pale hands in his and knelt on the floor in front of him.

"Yes you will, because you're strong, just like your Dad. You'll be here for each other, all of you; and with the strength Burt gave you, you'll get through anything left to come Kurt. But if there's one thing I know, it's that he is fighting. Fighting to wake up, fighting to get better, fighting for you. Don't give up on him just yet. Until then, you've got me." Blaine pressed a kiss to Kurt's knuckles and found himself enveloped in a family hug, getting slightly crushed by Finn.

"Thank you." Kurt whispered in Blaine's ear before pulling away, wiping the tears from his face.

Once the process of weaning Burt off the drugs inducing his coma had begun , Kurt refused to leave his side. Blaine and Finn acted as chauffeurs, ferrying Carol and Kurt's clothes to the hospital and back. Blaine spent every night at the hospital with Kurt. There was a minor hiccup when they were told that they couldn't stop with Burt over night, but Carol pulled some strings and it ended up being overlooked. Blaine breathed a sigh of relief knowing that he wouldn't have to intercept one of Kurt's killer looks or snarky comments.

With each day that passed, Kurt grew more anxious, often for-going showers so he wouldn't miss his Dad moving or waking up. The sympathetic glances from the nurses did nothing to alleviate the knot forming in his stomach. Nearly four days in, Burt started to show signs of brain activity. The doctors ran multiple tests but told Kurt, Carol, Finn and Blaine not to get their hopes up. Kurt and Carol spent every hour possible by Burt's side, being brought food by Finn or Blaine. Kurt couldn't help feeling like that frightened teenage boy again, just willing his father to wake up. He remembered feeling so alone, like his whole world was empty without his Dad's presence. He had tried so hard to stay strong for everyone; to show that he could cope, would not break. He didn't think he'd manage to put that facade in place now, besides Blaine would see right through it.

It was strange how he could see the support system around him, yet he still felt isolated in his pain.

Everything seemed to happen at once, all in a blur. Burt stopped responding...he was barely surviving...talk of switching off life support...people constantly coming and going...questions...consent forms...night merging into day...empty words...then nothing.

Silence.

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**So the next chapter will be up tomorrow or wednesday, more than likely tomorrow. As always if anything I write affects you feel free to message me, either on here, S&C or on my tumblr for this... stnc . tumblr . com **


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N So here's chapter 20, the funeral was particularly hard to write. There are a couple links for you to look at in here which really you can take or leave but they help explain things. This is probably my favourite chapter, just because there's a lot of me in it. That probably sounds narcissistic, but still.**

**Huge thanks must go to Stacey for beta-ing this for me, and for the tears she shed. I appreciate it honey.**

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The noise came back full force once Kurt was back in his old bedroom. Blaine hadn't left his side since the flat-line drone had covered the room and Kurt in an impenetrable mist. Blaine was now sat up against the headboard, just waiting. Kurt lay tucked into himself on one side of the bed, still silent and unmoving, as he had been since they got home. Thoughts raced around his head launching him head first into a whirlpool of emotions, each attacking him from a different angle. Carol and Finn were downstairs making necessary phone calls that Kurt couldn't even begin to comprehend. The house felt different to him already, it may not have been the home he grew up in but it was his Dad's home; without him here, it was just a house. It felt empty. He felt lost. An eerie calm had settled itself into his bones and he filled his mind with a mental checklist of things to do, separating out his emotions and boxing them up to the back of his mind to deal with later. He sat up, ignoring Blaine's curious stirring. He moved out of the bedroom and downstairs, he laid a hand on Carol's shaking shoulder and took over the remaining phone calls.

He dealt with the family in an almost detached manner, moving swiftly on to making arrangements for the funeral. He didn't notice Blaine settle himself on the sofa behind him and exchange worried looks with Finn. Kurt kept his speech to a minimum, speaking in quick emotionless tones while he hurried around his family making meals, doing household chores, liaising with people in New York and finalizing arrangements.

A couple of days in Carol pulled him to one side, away from Finn and Blaine who were watching football whilst sorting through photos for the funeral.

"Honey take a break with me a minute, it's been so hectic the last few days, we haven't had chance to talk." She busied herself making coffee while Kurt took a seat at the kitchen table, his expression unreadable. Carol handed him a cup and took the seat next to him facing the window.

"How're you doing Sweetie?" they both stared out the window, Kurt took a moment to formulate an answer.

"I'm, I'm coping."

"You know you don't have to be strong for us right? It doesn't matter if you break a little, so long as we're together, we'll get through."

"I can't break. Not yet, I won't get back up for a while, and I need to get through the funeral. I can't feel too much right now." Neither looked at the other, just staring out that same window and sipping comforting coffee.

"That's not healthy Honey, you've got to feel it sometime and the longer you put it off the worse it'll be when you do feel it." Carol turned to look at the man she'd come to call her son, worry creasing between her eyes.

"I know, but it's all I can do right now, Dad wouldn't want me a nervous wreck. I have to get through the next couple days; then I'll deal with everything else." Kurt battled to keep the lump in his throat from breaking his voice while he spoke. Carol took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"I understand Kurt, just promise me you won't do this all on your own." For the first time since entering the kitchen, Kurt turned to look at her, a minute smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"I don't think that'll be a problem, Blaine won't let me." He watched carol nod and they finished their coffees and returned to more planning and arranging that either of them really wanted to do.

Kurt didn't sleep at all the night before the funeral. Instead occupying himself with menial cleaning tasks. Blaine surfaced blearily at about 4am and tried to stay awake, but ended up falling asleep on the sofa while Kurt worked around him. Kurt woke him at 8:30 so he could go shower before Finn woke up and commandeered the bathroom. Once they had both showered, the sounds of family filling the house were conveniently blocked out of Kurt's mind as they wordlessly sat on the bed together. Kurt allowed himself the comfort of Blaine's embrace for just a little while. They joined Carol and Finn for what must have been the quietest breakfast the house had ever experienced. Finn hardly touched his food, instead pushing it aside and stomping through the house to his room. Blaine took control of the washing up when Carol broke down at the sight of Burt's mug sat innocently on the windowsill, where it had rested since the day he was admitted to hospital. He glanced at Kurt just hoping for some kind of emotion to break the surface soon, but Kurt was steadfastly calm and neutral as he dried methodically. Blaine sighed and finished up. He would wait, and wait, and wait some more until Kurt could let himself need Blaine.

They all reappeared in the living room dressed in their best. One condition of the funeral was no black. Burt was never one for formal anyway, and black seemed too bleak. Kurt had insisted on this being a celebration of life, not a commiseration of death. Blaine wore a deep grey jacket with black piping, teamed with a pinky, purple shirt and matching grey slacks. Carol's deep red dress had been a present from Burt the previous year. Finn's outfit of a deep blue cardigan teamed with a grey shirt and dark, pressed jeans had been carefully selected by Kurt. Kurt wore a royal blue blazer of his own design with black slacks and a white shirt and tie with deliberate bright blue piping along the collar. Kurt appraised everyone, fixing a strand of Carol's light blonde hair that had fallen forward. He had taken delivery of the flowers earlier that morning and handed each of his family a Gladiolus spike attached to a pin. ( )

They made their way out to the hearse, smiling sadly at neighbors who waved and stood until the cars pulled away. Nobody really said anything, each person too lost in their own thoughts for the day. Kurt's mind was determinedly set on making sure everything ran smoothly, all his plans, his excruciatingly specific requests, his hopes.

Carol just hoped it wouldn't be quite as hard as it promised to be. She wanted to protect her boys from this, but she felt at a loss without Burt. Their time together had been unfairly short, but she was thankful for every second. She still had the amazing men that they had both raised, both independently and together. This was a chance to catch-up with family and to remember the most amazing man she had ever had the luck to meet and more importantly, love. Tears threatened to spill, so she swallowed and watched the world go by without her for a little longer.

Finn wasn't sure how he was _supposed_ to feel. He mostly just felt sad. He wanted to rage and get angry at... at the _world_. Burt was the only real father he'd ever had, he'd taken care of Kurt when no-one else would. He'd taken in his Mom and him, regardless of their history and loved them unconditionally. He'd known Blaine was meant for Kurt even when they were apart. He had been the family's rock. Who would be that now? How could Finn even start to make things better for his family when they all hurt so bad?

Blaine kept switching his gaze to Kurt. He wanted so badly to just hold him and let him grieve. But he knew that Kurt had to get there in his own time, and God knows that no-one could rush him. A deep sadness had settled in Blaine's heart, he loved Burt's gentle guidance, his sure acceptance of him. Even though Blaine had treated Kurt so badly Burt had just clapped him on the back and welcomed him home. The man had been so accepting and kind. There weren't many people like that, and boy did Blaine have experience of the fact. He would miss Burt and would do everything in his power to be there for Kurt and make sure that Burt was always a part of their life.

The cars pulled up outside the same church Carol and Burt had gotten married in. They all exited the vehicle and grouped together behind the coffin. The few stragglers left outside quickly made their way inside as the bearers carried Burt on his final journey. The family made their way down the aisle, so different from the last time they had all been together dancing their way down. They took a seat at the front. The Officiator started the service, but they all hardly heard a word; thoughts still clogging their thought processes. Each person intent on being strong for another. Finn had made sure everything was in place for his surprise. He just hoped Kurt wouldn't mind him messing up his plans too much. The service dragged by, Carol said a few words, cutting her planned speech down considerably due to overwhelming emotion at the sight of a packed church. Kurt stood next. He made his way to the front, his composure not slipping for a single second.

"My father... My Dad was the most compassionate person I have ever met. He was accepting, loving, kind and possibly the worst speaker ever." A chuckle emitted from the people gathered.

"I can never thank him enough for the gifts he's given me. He loved me when the world was telling me to change and supported me through things that I surely wouldn't have survived without him. He loved everything about me, never doubting my dreams and thoughts for a minute. When I asked him for something he did it, no matter how uncomfortable it made him. He strived to give me, Carol and Finn... and eventually Blaine also, everything we could ever want for. The things we needed came as second nature to him. If there was more to give, he gave it. Since my Mom died I found strength and the will to carry on in him. He gave me everything that makes me the man I am today. He pulled me up when I was childish, or unreasonable. He lifted me up when I was at my best. He brought two families together so seamlessly that as far as I'm concerned Carol and Finn are just as much my family as he was. He kept a business running; he kept a home functioning. But most of all he was there. Unforgettably, resoundingly, steadily, like a rock that could never be moved. My Daddy was there and he never wavered. I love you more than I ever told you Dad. Thank you for everything you've given me and for supporting me unconditionally to this very day and beyond."

There wasn't a dry eye to be seen. Kurt nodded at his audience and seated himself once again between Carol and Blaine, his hand instantly being enveloped by Blaine's. Still the tears he knew, socially, ought to be there would not fall. So he accepted the comfort offered. Finn stood and looked to the congregation, gathering a few people to come forward with him.

"I could never put into words the way I feel like Kurt, so I've asked for a little help. If it's Okay I'd like to sing for you. I know this isn't, like, conventional, but I heard Burt listen to this song a lot, so I know he loves it and you know, just interchange the her for him if you need to..." He looked to Kurt for confirmation, Kurt looked slightly surprised but a single nod confirmed that yes. It was Okay. Finn had clearly planned this, Puck and Sam walked up to join Finn and Tina, Mike, Rachel and Santana provided harmonies.

"It's not time to make a change,

Just relax, take it easy

You're still young, that's your fault,

There's so much you have to know

Find a girl, settle down, if you want you can marry

Look at me, I am old but I'm happy

I was once like you are now

And I know that it's not easy

To be calm when you've found

Something going on.

But take your time, think a lot, why think of everything you've got

For you will still be here tomorrow but you dreams may not

How can I try to explain, 'cos when I do he turns away again

It's always been the same, same old story

From the moment I could talk, I was ordered to listen

Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away

I know, I have to go

It's not time to make ...

All the times that I've cried keeping all the things I knew inside

It's hard, but it's harder to ignore it

If they were right I'd agree, but it's them they know, not me

Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away "

Song: Cat Stevens - Father and Son.

The group finished the song together, beautifully. Kurt bowed his head to Finn, acknowledging the song choice as good... as so much better than he expected. Blaine tried hastily to wipe the tears from his cheeks, much like carol and many of the others gathered in the church.

The rest of the service passed quickly for them, until they were back in the car on their way to the crematorium. Kurt's mind once again took over and blocked his emotions in favour of practicality and social expectations. He didn't really know how they got to the function room at a local sports bar Burt had once called his second home, but suddenly family and friends alike were crowded round in what was quickly becoming a very claustrophobic space. Blaine seemed to realise and excused himself and Kurt and led Kurt out and to a quiet back entrance. Kurt took deep breaths to center himself. Blaine waited patiently, propping himself up against the wall, hands shoved deep into his pockets. His jacket had been discarded a while ago, leaving just the deep purple shirt stretching across defined muscle. Kurt eyed his boyfriend before latching onto him and kissing him passionately. Blaine, startled somewhat, kissed him back for a moment before pulling away.

"Woah, Kurt. Just... Kurt, one second..." Kurt looked him directly in the eye, his normally brighter blue eyes, darkened somewhat.

"Yes Blaine?"

"I appreciate the attention, but... do you really think here is the right place?" Blaine made sure to hold onto Kurt, trying to convey that he wasn't rejecting his boyfriend, just... trying to help.

"My Dad never cared about us kissing Blaine." Kurt rolled his eyes and tried to re-engage Blaine.

"No, I know... but, do you not want to make the most of today?"

"Well, I'm trying but my boyfriend isn't co-operating..."

No, for what it is Kurt, not for... this." Kurt looked at him for a moment. A flicker of annoyance crossed his eyes and though Blaine knew Kurt wasn't himself right now it hurt.

"I guess, I just needed to know that, you're here. That whatever-else happens I haven't lost you as well." Blaine nodded, completely understanding, he held Kurt close, pressing a light kiss to his head.

"I'm not going anywhere, we have plenty of time. I'm right here... understand? And I'll be here when you finally decide to let yourself comprehend what's happened. Okay?" Kurt nodded against his shoulder.

"I think we should go back in there, at least for a little while." Kurt murmured while straightening himself up, and fixing Blaine's hair back into an acceptable state after his fingers had so deftly mussed it up.

They re-entered the room together and exchanged pleasantries until Kurt felt they had stayed an acceptable amount of time and let Finn know they were heading back to the house.

Their flight back to New York seemed to spring upon them all of a sudden four days later. Finn drove them all to the airport, Carol kissed and hugged them both tearfully making them both promise to come and visit or book a flight for her soon. She tugged Blaine away from Kurt and Finn's goodbye hug.

"Look after him Honey, I know you will, he just... he can't carry on like this for long. When it hits him it's gonna be like a landslide." Blaine assured her he'd look after Kurt and would call if they needed anything.

"If you start to struggle with anything... anything at all just let me know Okay? That means anything, even money, understand?" He looked into her eyes heavily, trying to make sure she knew he meant every word.

"I'll be fine Honey, don't you worry." They rejoined Kurt and Finn hugging one last time before Kurt and Blaine departed for security.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Hi guys, so here's a cute little filler for you, don't forget you can always check the progress over on tumblr... just search for STNC. As always thanks must go to my amazing beta and sister - in - law Stacey who keeps me sane! Thank you to all my amazing and loyal readers and to every one of you who reviews, favourites or just reads my little story. Much love to all of you. Thank you so much. Anyway... enjoy!**

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When they arrived back in New York, they both headed back to Kurt's apartment. Kurt had made it clear that he didn't want to be alone and really, Blaine wasn't sure he should be. Still no tears had fallen and he seemed to be avoiding the whole subject. Blaine was more worried about him now than he had been in a long time. The way Kurt just resumed his life had left many people startled; he had tried to go back to work the day after **they landed, where he was immediately shooed away** by Caryn who rang Blaine instantly.

"What the hell was he thinking?" Her voice cut through the static on the line easily.

"I don't know, he sneaked out while I was still asleep. He isn't really processing any of this." Blaine rubbed his hand roughly over his face; he wasn't sleeping well as it was, now worrying further about Kurt... he was exhausted.

"Hmm, I can see that. The shops running fine, we're just finishing designs he left behind. I told him that but I don't think he was really listening."

"Probably not... Oh, wait I think he's just got back, I'll speak to you later Caryn." The line clicked and Blaine stood to face the door. Kurt was standing with his back to him, removing his coat and shoes. He jumped a little when he turned around.

"Jeez Blaine, give me some warning next time." He continued into the kitchen, turning the tap on so he could do the washing up... all two mugs of it. Blaine reached around him, turning the tap off again and gently guided Kurt around to face him.

"Want to tell me where you went his morning?" Kurt raised an eyebrow at Blaine, leaning against the cabinet behind him.

"You know, I get the strangest feeling you already know." He smirked as Blaine rolled his eyes.

"Cute. Why exactly did you try to go to work? We've not even been back in New York a full 24 hours." Kurt avoided his gaze, choosing to settle it on the kettle.

"I, I guess I just want to keep busy. I can't sit around doing nothing, it's not me. I need to be productive, and the apartment doesn't need cleaning so..." Blaine watched him tangle his fingers together anxiously while he spoke and took them in his own, invading Kurt's space and forcing him to look at him.

"So go into your study and design, or we can go do something. There are a thousand things we can do that don't include you going to work right now." Kurt's expression turned mischievous and Blaine laughed, dropping his head to shake it.

"Not that, I mean, I'm not adverse, but I think there are more... what was your word.. yes, productive things we could do."

They stood there looking at each other for a minute.

"Okay, so I think we should go out... that look is going to be the death of me..." Kurt continued to eye Blaine mischievously, he tugged him closer and dropped a sweet kiss onto his lips, loving the way Blaine's eyes automatically fluttered shut at the contact. He wastes no time, pushing back against Blaine until they stumble against the opposite counter, kisses turned heated and frantic, Kurt grasping at the material of Blaine's plain T-shirt.

"Kurt...God... Are you sure you want... " His question was cut short as his brain short-circuited from Kurt's ministrations against his collarbone. He knew Kurt was probably just doing this to feel anything but the grief trying to consume him, but he hadn't the heart to deny him. His fingers grappled for purchase against the smooth surface behind him, finally wrapping around the edge, knuckles turning white with the effort of keeping himself upright as Kurt wound down his body. He groaned loudly, Kurt's eyes flicking back up to meet his.

"Bedroom. Now." Kurt's voice already sounded wrecked and he grabbed Blaine's wrist, tugging him through the apartment, kicking the bedroom door shut behind them before refocusing his attention on the man before him. Blaine's eyes had darkened to that delicious deep chocolate brown, he was panting slightly, looking up through his lashes at Kurt; begging to have him near him again. Kurt took deliberate steps towards his boyfriend and guided him to sit on the bed, pressing him back into the pillows, he captured Blaine's lips in a heated kiss, hands travelling under his thin T - shirt and circling his nipples lightly. Blaine struggled to stay in tune to everything Kurt was feeling, but it was **extraordinarily difficult** when his clothes were **practically being ripped** off him. No words were exchanged for a good half hour while they rolled around the bed just letting each other feel. They ended up lying diagonally across the bed, **Kurt rested** his head on Blaine's chest, thinking; his brow furrowed.

"Kurt?"

"Mmm?" He shifted his head slightly to glance up at Blaine's chin.

"I can hear the cogs turning. Penny for 'em?" He felt Kurt shift on his chest and squeezed his waist with the **arm wrapped** around his boyfriend. He was somewhat glad Kurt hadn't insisted on going any further physically right now.

"Just thinking I really hate that everything has changed." Blaine frowned, but remained silent until he heard where Kurt was coming from.

"I can't go to work, I don't want to shop, not even for materials, I can't... just can't talk to Carol and Finn right now. All I can do is stay home and **you know that I can't** do that. It drives me crazy. I don't want to sit here doing nothing, it gives me too much time to think and I just can't yet Blaine. I can't." Kurt was steadily working himself up, trembling slightly and moving his arms around almost wildly. Blaine ran a comforting hand up and down his back as he spoke, waiting for Kurt to calm a little before speaking.

"So don't." Kurt stopped and looked up at Blaine through his eyelashes.

"Don't just sit here, plan things to do, things you wouldn't ordinarily have the time for." He dropped his voice, speaking carefully. "Things perhaps your Dad wanted to do?" Kurt started at the direct mention of his Father, but appeared to be thinking through what Blaine had said.

"I guess I could plan some things." He remained quiet after that for a long time. Blaine just held him knowing he just needed the closeness right now.

Blaine must have fallen asleep at some point because when he woke Kurt's warm weight had disappeared and the bed felt cold without him. Blaine stumbled groggily out of the bedroom and into the living room where Kurt sat on the floor going through various leaflets and posters he'd collected over the years. Blaine settled himself behind Kurt, resting his stubbly chin on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt hummed his approval as Blaine's arms wound around his waist.

"What're you doing?" His voice was deep and scratchy from sleep.

"Planning." Kurt was focused, organising piles of leaflets from various attractions, museums... anything he hadn't had time to do over the last couple years.

"I can see that, anything in particular?" He strained his neck to see **the piles arranged** meticulously.

"Um, this pile is stuff I've either done or don't want to, and this is the pile of stuff I want to do while this pile is stuff... um... Dad wants...wanted to do." His voice tapered off toward the end of the statement and he refocused himself on the task.

"Okay and **at the top** of that list is?"

"I kind of really want to do the Central Park Bike Tour. I know we've been to Central park a thousand times, but I bookmarked this a while ago and it's been in the back of my mind ever since. It just sounds really fun." He handed Blaine the leaflet a flicker of hope lighting faintly behind his eyes. Blaine nodded slowly thumbing through the information.

"Let's book it then." Kurt's mouth twisted into a small smile, the first signs of emotion Blaine had really seen from him since the funeral. Kurt cocked his eyebrow questioningly.

"You think?"

"I do, yeah I mean you have to book two days in advance anyway, so it gives you a couple days to rearrange or back out you know; if that's what you want." Kurt seemed to think for a few minutes before nodding decisively and setting the leaflet on the table.

"Come on, have a break from this and we'll make dinner." He pulled Kurt up from his spot on the floor and dragged him to the kitchen, occupying his hands... and mind with preparations for dinner.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N Hey guys, so finally here is the next chapter. Heads up I won't be able to update for around a month as my pub has been sold and I'll be moving between two different pubs for the next month, I will try to get two chapters written so I have something for you when I come back. Don't forget you can get updates and little extras on the tumblr.**

**Thanks as always must go to my sister in law who has beta'd once again for me. **

**Enjoy!**

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The bike tour was a welcome change; they both spent the day cycling around familiar territory talking about anything and everything whilst they ate a small picnic resting on a bench. When they returned to Kurt's apartment Kurt seemed energised and for the first time sat down with his sketchpad. Blaine busied himself with emails in the office, trying to give Kurt a little space. He'd been through most of them and was logging out when he heard a thud from the living room, he moved to stand in the adjourning hallway watching as Kurt launched his pencils across the room to join his sketchpad.

"Kurt?" Kurt spun around to face him, irritation obvious across his features. His expression softened when he met Blaine's concerned gaze.

"I can't... I tried to design a new suit. I've done it a thousand times, a new suit with a few un orthodox details. So I get halfway through and look at it and it's identical to one I made in college. I've never repeated a design Blaine, never." Blaine nodded in understanding and took a couple of steps forward, stopping when Kurt wound his arms around himself and looked away.

"Okay, well you can't expect everything to just fall right into place." He let his hands fall uselessly to his side.

"This shouldn't have to fall back into place, this should just be. I've never had a problem designing before, not even when you went." A pang of hurt jolted through Blaine's chest; though it was significantly lessened knowing Kurt had forgiven him.

"True, but this is bigger than that Kurt. This is going to affect your emotions, which are directly linked to your creativity; look why don't we just sit and watch a movie? I'll make Cocoa?" He let a small, cheeky grin tug at his lips. Kurt looked up at him, still looking miserable, but nodded and squidged himself into the corner of the sofa. Blaine pressed a kiss to Kurt's soft hair and went to make their drinks.

When he returned to the living room, both hands occupied with steaming mugs of hot, cream - topped Cocoa it was to find Kurt sat by the phone; tears streaming down his face, staring blankly ahead. His face had turned violently red and blotchy but no sound escaped his tightly clamped lips. Blaine set the mugs carefully on the coasters on the nearest table and moved to crouch next to Kurt.

"Babe?" No response, not even a flicker of recognition.

"Kurt, talk to me..." He touched Kurt's arm, the touch seemed to jolt Kurt out of his silence. A huge, body-wracking sob erupted from Kurt as his eyes flickered to Blaine's then back to the phone.

"He's never going to call." At Blaine's furrowed brow Kurt continued.

"There's so much I never told him, t - those stupid phone calls. Now they're never going to come and I'll never h - hear his voice or tell him about my week or us and oh God. Blaine, he'll never meet his grandkids or - or... what about Carol..." Sobs over took his body, tears soaking his porcelain cheeks. He toppled sideways off the chair and into Blaine's waiting arms. Blaine fell onto his ass and pulled Kurt to his chest, his heart breaking as tears of his own breached his eyes.

He didn't know how long they sat there, he knew his butt was numb and he knew they would be there a while longer. Tears were no longer streaming down Kurt's face, but sobs and hiccoughs were still wracking his frame. He suddenly felt so much smaller than the 6'2" man Blaine knew him to be. He didn't loosen his hold on Kurt, even when his arms ached, he refused to detract the small bit of comfort Kurt had actually wanted since his Dad had died. Once the room had gone dark and Kurt's cries had quitted Blaine moved Kurt to the sofa and stretched his legs while turning lights on. He rejoined Kurt on the sofa, pulling him into his arms, his back flush against Blaine's chest.

"So you want to talk?" Kurt shifted a little.

"I - I guess." Kurt's voice was raw from crying, but clear. Blaine remained quiet, letting Kurt take charge.

"I thought I could handle it. I just have this mantra in my head that Dad wouldn't have wanted me to break, would have wanted me to be strong - and God! It's so strange talking about him in the past tense. To me, he's still here you know?" Blaine nodded understandingly, remembering his Father's death and the sense of utter unreal that encompassed him at the time. Knowing the connection Kurt had with his Dad, he knew that pain was increased.

"The thought that he's never going to call Bud, or - never going to hug me. Or even... it was the phone call." He stopped talking and looked right at Blaine, his throat dry, voice cracking as fresh tears welled in his tear ducts.

"Every Thursday he rang at six and I waited... I forgot today, I forgot and...it never rang. It just..." He trailed off and buried his head in Blaine's shoulder. Blaine nodded, feeling foolish for not remembering. He knew no words would help, so just held Kurt close until the tears subsided once more.

Kurt stayed home with Blaine the following day, hardly eating despite Blaine's efforts. He sat wrapped in a blanket in the chair his Dad always favored with the television on for a white noise. Blaine suggested reading, but after the fifth book had been dropped to the floor at the side of the chair it was obvious Kurt couldn't concentrate. He tried to fill the day with meaningless tasks instead and left Kurt on his own for short periods of time, never going far so he would be there if Kurt needed him. He fielded phone calls so Kurt wouldn't have to, but after grabbing a quick shower, entered the living room to find Kurt huddled behind the sofa, the phone pressed to his ear looking ready to launch it at the wall. Blaine sat next to him, still only wearing a towel and listened to Kurt's side of the conversation. His voice was clipped and quiet - but dripping with venom.

"This should not be a discussion, Finn all but runs the place as it is." A pause. A muffled voice.

"No, the answer is no. We are not selling it and I am happy for Finn to take it over. He did a great job while Dad was in hospital and I'm not taking his inheritance away from him on your word." Kurt's face had turned blotchy with anger as he stared at the floor as if it had insulted his wardrobe.

"No more. From now on you refer this matter to Finn, he makes the decisions and you listen, understand?" After another couple of seconds Kurt hung up, tossing the phone onto the sofa behind him and shaking his head incredulously. Blaine waited.

"That was - and I use the term loosely - my Dad's 'Second in Command' at the shop. He didn't think Finn ought to run the shop as he's not been 'in service' as long as him. It even states in Dad's will for Pete's sake. I don't understand it, he's always been fantastic, I mean someone my Dad always trusted, he knows my Dad was training Finn up to take over, so for him to disagree with it now makes no sense. I never pegged him as money grabbing or power seeking. There's just no other explanation..." Kurt continued to rant, his arms waving ever more frantically while Blaine listened, knowing better than to interrupt Kurt mid flow. Kurt stood up and started pacing, his voice at almost yelling volume now. Blaine stood so he was at the same level as Kurt, instantly regretting it as a shoe came flying, narrowly missing his shoulder.

"Whoa - Kurt - " He ducked again as a book sailed across the room.

"At least it's a paperback..." he muttered under his breath, earning him and angry glare from his boyfriend. Kurt swung around his chest heaving rapidly to accommodate his labored breathing.

"What Blaine?" His voice was low and deadly, a warning laced in his words. Blaine held his hands up in an attempt to pacify Kurt and his ranting, however the movement only served in his towel unraveling from his waist and pooling around his feet. He instantly stooped to grab it and hastily tie it back around his hips, blushing slightly. Kurt paused in throwing their possessions around the room (many of Blaine's things had found their way to the apartment over the course of the week) and raised an eyebrow at Blaine's bashfulness.

"Seriously Blaine? I've seen you naked since we were sixteen." Blaine smiled nervously.

"Yeah well, it's an automatic reaction." He took a couple of tentative steps toward Kurt, watching for any signs he was going to start throwing things again. A dry chuckle left Kurt's lips and relief flooded Blaine, hysterical crying he could handle; angry, volatile Kurt was a different story. He checked the hold on his towel once more before placing his hands on Kurt's toned biceps, looking deep into Kurt's eyes, Kurt slumped a little accepting the touch.

"Leave it to Finn now. He can handle the shop and everything that goes with it." He waited for a confirmation nod and rubbed his hands up Kurt's arms lightly.

"I'm gonna get dressed, then we'll cuddle up and read or something - yeah?" Kurt nodded and pushed him towards the bedroom. Blaine stumbled, his foot catching on the rug. His torso twisted awkwardly as he tried to regain his balance, but his foot connected with the shoe that had been launched earlier and he fell to the floor with a thud and a sickening crack. He cried out in pain as Kurt rushed to kneel by his side. Tears stung his eyes as pain flared up the length of his arm.

"Oh my God, Blaine. Are you Okay?" He helped Blaine into a sitting position.

"I - I think I broke my arm." He winced when he tried to move his fingers and pain radiated through him sending his brain a little fuzzy.

"Hospital, now - come on I'll help you up." Together they hoisted Blaine to his feet and Kurt began gathering his keys and leading Blaine to the door.

"Uh, Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"I think maybe - clothes, I need clothes." Blaine cradled his injured arm carefully, trying not to jostle it too much.

"No time Blaine, your arm could be broken."

"Kurt I am not going outside in nothing but a towel." He turned his best puppy dog look on Kurt, aided by the tears still in his eyes.

"Ok, but just sweatpants Okay?" Blaine nodded gratefully.

"I don't think I can get a shirt on over my arm right now anyway."

Five hours at the hospital, three crying nurses who had been subjected to Kurt's wrath and a deeply traumatized doctor and Blaine was the proud owner of a brand spanking new luminous pink wrist cast. Kurt hadn't had the heart to fight Blaine over the ostentatious colour because guilt was slowly starting to writhe away at his insides. This was all his fault, he was over emotional and should have been more careful. He failed to keep up his end of the conversation and Blaine noticed. Blaine hadn't visited his own apartment since they first arrived back in New York. He wondered vaguely what that might mean for them. They were both too lost in their own thoughts in the cab on the way back, so Kurt didn't notice the small smile gracing Blaine's features, but Blaine noticed Kurt's silence, but decided not to comment until they were safely ensconced back at home. Home. Blaine hardly thought of his own apartment as home now, having spent so much time at Kurt's.

They collapsed somewhat gingerly on the sofa, both rather worn out from the days rollercoaster like events. Kurt withdrew into himself, clutching the same pillow to his stomach that he'd held when they had first reconnected. Blaine's head, which had been resting on the back of the sofa, flopped to the side to face Kurt.

"Kurt, talk to me. Please don't shut me out now." Kurt continued to stare ahead, trying to gather the words to explain how he was feeling. On one hand he really did want to talk to Blaine, on the other he thought that really Blaine should be given air time right now, you know what with his broken wrist and all. Blaine watched the cogs turn, knowing Kurt was talking himself in circles.

"Just stop thinking for a minute, close your eyes and talk, without worrying what you _should_ be talking about. Okay?" Kurt nodded in response and shut his eyes, taking a couple of deep breaths before starting.

" I guess, I'm worried I'm never going to get over all of this, and then my emotions are so all over the place so much so that I'm violent, Blaine. I hurt you today and that really scares me, at the same time I think it ought to be you who needs comforting and it's not. You're being so, so understanding and amazing about everything. I feel like I'm putting you out or something, you didn't sign up for all of this. I'm... I'm a mess and I don't know how to fix it."

Silence enveloped the room momentarily. Enough for Kurt to open his eyes and glance at his boyfriend a little fearfully, as though he might take off right now and never come back. Blaine saw the fear in Kurt's eyes and instantly enveloped him in a tight one-armed hug. He pressed a warm kiss to Kurt's head, his hair tickling Blaine's nose.

"You could never be a burden to me. You're right I didn't sign up for this specifically. I signed up for you, whether that was you at your best, or your very worst I want you. I think you're right, you probably won't ever get over your Dad, but I wouldn't want you too. It will get easier, but it takes time Baby. It's going to come back and bite you at the worst possible moments and I'll be there, whether I'm at your side or on the other end of a phone. I'm not going anywhere, understand?" A small, almost imperceptible nod. " And this - " He held up his right wrist. " - wasn't your fault, it's just one of those things, I tripped over a show that admittedly you threw, but considering my inherent clumsiness I'd say it's 50/50. You are not dangerous. I am not scared of you. I love you, so much Kurt. You don't even know what it means to me that I'm even able to be here for you for this, I thought I'd lost you forever. And yet, here we are." Kurt sniffled into Blaine's shoulder, but chuckled for the first time in what seemed like forever and angled his head so he could kiss Blaine's stubbly jaw.

If he could keep Blaine, keep this comfort, keep this love he thought that maybe, just maybe he'd be Okay one day. Maybe it really could get easier, with Blaine's help. Well, they needed to help each other really he realised. They might just make it.


End file.
